Sri Aurobindo

Letters of Sri Aurobindo

Volume 1

Letter ID: 169

Sri Aurobindo — Roy, Dilip Kumar

November 16, 1931

I am feeling very restless and miserable. All sorts of doubts are assailing me. I know you are very busy. But I don’t know whom else to approach.

I don’t know what I’ll do if I have to pass the whole night in such misery.

P.S. Most likely I won’t go to see Mother to-morrow morning. But I am afraid lest my misery should then increase. And then if I don’t feel like going to pranam her in the mechanical way what use is my going particularly since I feel I may contaminate the atmosphere.

All this is quite groundless as usual – I don’t know why you insist on putting yourself to self-torture in this way. The misery and doubts are in all probability due to your having made a wrong movement in determining not to come to pranam. I have never said or written that you were in any degree the cause or the sadhaks generally were the cause of the Mother’s illness. It is nonsense to talk of your contaminating the atmosphere. You will get a letter from me in the morning; meanwhile throw all this out of your head and go to the pranam in a spirit of quiet and confidence.