Sri Aurobindo

Letters of Sri Aurobindo

Volume 2. 1934 — 1935

Letter ID: 567

Sri Aurobindo — Roy, Dilip Kumar

February 26, 1935

I had no intention of being stiff in that letter. I had to write rapidly and concentrate [on?] what was necessary to say, which was perhaps the cause of your impression. If there was anything too sharp or emphatic it was directed against the forces that are troubling you and certainly not towards you. However, I regret if what I said gave you the impression of stiffness or hurt you in any way.

I do not think the trouble would be lessened by change of place; usually it is not but follows one about. It can only be remedied from within and then it radically disappears.

I must say that this idea which constantly recurs to you that I have no feeling of love or affection for you, only commiseration or an indifferent compassion is totally mistaken. It is a strong and lasting personal relation that I have felt with you ever since we met and even before and it is only that that has been the base of all the outward support, consideration, care and constant helping endeavour which I have always extended towards you and which could not possibly have arisen from any tepid impersonal feeling. On my side that relation is not likely to change ever.

I hope that the headache and exhaustion will pass rapidly and with it this attack of depression. The black rings are often felt when there is an obscuring pressure on the forehead centre. If the japa gave some relief, it is very good; for it ought to have that effect.