Sri Aurobindo
Letters of Sri Aurobindo
Volume 4
Letter ID: 934
Sri Aurobindo — Roy, Dilip Kumar
December 7, 1941
We do not agree that the course you propose is the right one or with the reasons you give. If we thought it was the right or only course, we would consent and give you our blessings, though not even then with the idea of a permanent departure. But we do not think that it is either necessary or advisable.
What you were told of the incompatibility of love and adoration of Krishna with this Yoga, is not true. There is not and cannot be any such incompatibility. Otherwise we would not have encouraged you in your aspiration. You can seek for him quite as well here as in Brindaban.
It is not at all a fact that your nature is incapable of love and bhakti: on the contrary that is the right way for you. Meditation is all right, but it will be most profitable for you if it is directed towards the increase of love and devotion; the rest will come of itself afterwards.
Also, it is not true that your nature is incapable of surrender; you made a great progress in that direction. But the complete surrender of all parts, especially of the whole vital, is certainly difficult. It can only come with the development of the consciousness. Meanwhile, that it has not fully come, is no reason for despair or giving up.
You are taking too black a view of things, the usual result of your giving way to depression. You used to have this before and you got over it by persistence. Now also by persistence it will go. To make radical decisions under the influence of depression is not good. To brace yourself up and, however persistent the difficulties are, to stick it out, is always the best.
Be faithful and persevering, then however long the way, you cannot fail to reach the goal. Our love and blessings.
P.S. By the way, it would not be at all correct to think of Tajdar1 as an ideal sadhak and her present upset as the result of an effort at surrender. A sincere endeavour to surrender cannot bring such a result. In fact her illness has nothing to do with Yoga. It is the result of a constitutional or hereditary predisposition to hysteria, a malady which she had long before she came here. She had three or four severe attacks of the same kind already, but as they did not affect her bodily health Mother dealt with them herself. This time she became physically ill, so the doctor was called in. He does not regard it as insanity, but as the result of nervous disorder and hysteria (auprès du coeur [close to the heart], he says) of which the symptoms are quite recognisable. He expects the attack to pass off before long.
1 Tajdar Begum was a sadhika of the Ashram who came from the Royal family of Hyderabad. She was the step-mother of Dara and Rene.