5) In Delhi I am likely to meet Birla who admires me greatly. But he is too deep a Gandhist now-a-days. So I don’t hope much from him this time. But I will certainly try.Sri Aurobindo
Letters of Sri Aurobindo
Volume 4
Letter ID: 949
Sri Aurobindo — Roy, Dilip Kumar
Undated
All right.
For I am not so vain now-a-days as I used to be and can’t really believe I can get money, etc. for you. If you will make me a servant of yours then only I can act, I really feel this – some progress anyhow, isn’t it? I suggest this as my vitality makes me often restless and if I can serve you in this way once or twice a year, why not? I hope you will believe me when I say it is not fame that draws me. I feel very tired outside and that quickly. My vairagya is persistent, as I told Sri Aurobindo on the 4th. If you give me some force only then I may (perhaps) shed this vairagya. Otherwise I often feel days are passing, etc. etc. I won’t repeat the doleful song. I am a little tired of my vairagya, really. Why cannot I with my abounding vitality serve you better?
3) In Delhi the India Gramophone may, I think, like to make some records. That way I can fetch some money too – but this is not likely to be much. But the Radio may offer me Rs. 150 (they do often). I will try.
4) From Delhi I want to go for a week or two to Almora to Krishnaprem’s Ashram as he presses me to come once. On the way I will stop a few days with Udayshankar. If he helps I can get some money with his help for the Ashram. 7 will try. That may be [consideration] Rs. 1000 at least.
So I will come back about 22nd of April for darshan.
Qu’en dites-vous?But do give me all your force. If I am overtaken with vairagya there as I was at Trivandrum I will return post-haste from Nagpur maybe – outside the Ashram I feel a great nostalgia for the Ashram after the first week or two at the most. In that case I feel very weak and can’t do strenuous work. I want to do some strenuous kind of work if I am to get rid of this inveterate vairagya as Sri Aurobindo told me again he does not like it.
5) In Delhi I am likely to meet Birla who admires me greatly. But he is too deep a Gandhist now-a-days. So I don’t hope much from him this time. But I will certainly try.
All right.
You know of course that I have a good life outside. My only weakness is for fish now-a-days. I often dream of fish. Que faire? But there’s nothing fishy about my activities outside believe me.
P.S. In Madras I am going to teach two or three Mir a songs to Subbulakshmi1. That will fetch some money. Your blessings are necessary. She and her husband are nice people and she is very religious – her husband says. So – I think her songs in the Gramophone will be a success. They are inviting me as you may remember.
Yes to the whole programme (with reservations about the vairagya, though!) with the Mother’s blessings and mine.
1 M. S. Subbulakshmi the well-known singer was born in 1916 in Madurai, Tamil Nadu. She and her husband, T. Sadasivan dedicated their lives to her music, not for personal gains but for the good of humanity. She gave innumerable concerts in India and abroad. In the forties she performed in four films, one being “Meera,” based on the life of Mirabai. She learned Hindi bhajans from Dilipda.