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Sri Aurobindo

Letters of Sri Aurobindo

Volume 4

Letter ID: 978

Sri Aurobindo — Roy, Dilip Kumar

October 4, 1943

I had to wound a fellow-sadhak to the quick with blunt and offensive words. You know it is against my nature to be cruel to people or hurt them with harsh words, (e.g. I told him that I could not believe him even if he protested innocence till he was blue.) But I can’t admit that I was wrong in flaring up as I did when he was lying and insinuating against the fairness of our Guru. I know in the heat of the moment one tells things one really doesn’t really mean. But I have always noticed his deep dissatisfaction against your war-views (he hates the British like poison) and suffers. I pity him for that but I can do no more as I can’t sympathise with his blind hatred of the nation whom you support against Hitler. Please correct me Guru if I need correction. I will accept it all with genuine and willing humility.

I wrote yesterday three hundred and twenty-six lines (blank verse) in English on Pralhad. I think it was inspired by you. But I need your inspiration again as it is all broken and I am in a most unpoetic mood now. I will sit and meditate and take Mother’s name now.

You did nothing wrong certainly, in giving a piece of your mind to Hiren. He needed it badly and it would be good if it made an impression on him, but usually people are too self-satisfied to profit. Rubbish about “advanced sadhaks” – the old old meaningless phrase; there is no such class of sadhaks in the Ashram. Anyhow advanced sadhak or non-advanced or no sadhak, I am not going to believe such incredible statements against anyone or Hiren’s scintillating reports. I note however that in his letter to me he tells a different and more credible story – that Anilbaran was speaking about settled disbelief in the Guru, which is a different affair altogether. The matter may drop, since all is now clear.