Sri Aurobindo

Letters of Sri Aurobindo

Volume 1. 1934

Letter ID: 1221

Sri Aurobindo — Nirodbaran Talukdar

December 4, 1934

This time I had a great Ananda at Darshan. At the very sight of you I seemed to have seen Shiva himself! And what a rapture it was! Especially your last look seemed to have taken me into another world, so much so that I did not even know who I was. It seemed you were drawing my inside out by your fixed gaze, very much as a python enchants its prey by the magnetic look!

All these happy impressions and recollections were with me vividly for 2 or 3 days. Then I found that all that consciousness has evaporated – and I have passed these days most passively, without any strong aspiration. But I marked that there was no depression. Only today it tried to overtake me, but so far it is unsuccessful. I expected so much from this Darshan, but it seems all has been spoiled!

There is no reason to be discouraged by what you call the evaporation of the consciousness that you got on the darshan day. It has not evaporated but drawn back from the surface. That usually happens – when there is not the higher consciousness or some experience. What you have to learn is not to allow depression, but remain quiet allowing time for the assimilation and ready for fresh experience or growth whenever it comes.

I have written only one side of the picture of the Darshan. May I know if you have discovered any fresh signs of hope?

For my part, I see plenty of signs of hope.