Sri Aurobindo

Letters of Sri Aurobindo

Volume 1. 1936

Letter ID: 1568

Sri Aurobindo — Nirodbaran Talukdar

March 7, 1936

With all these “buts” and “ifs”, I drew back today. So if Mother doesn’t really approve I won’t go. I didn’t quite catch if Mother said that in the Pranam.

Mother had forgotten all about Villenur and the Rajangam-guarded Dispensary. So that had nothing to do with her look at Pranam.

It is really a pity that J is going with so many parts, also!

He is going with tears and full of blessings. Perhaps it is the “parts” you speak of that call him – his horoscope was found to be brilliant and almost Leninesque. Perhaps one day you will gaze at the figure of পাগলা যশোবন্ত [pāgalā yaśobanta] (I think that is Mridu’s description) presiding over the destinies of a Communist India!! Why not? Hitler in his “handsome Adolf” days was not less পাগলা or prettier, so there is a chance.

Really, how things happen here so suddenly! He had been laughing, joking and one day I find he has turned quite a different man – morose, muttering, etc.

That is because he is listening to “voices” and feeling “influences”, Anilbaran’s and others’, e.g. Nolini’s. Imagine Nolini engaged in dark and sinister occult operations to take possession of somebody.

You said something about the intermediate zone. I thought it was sex-trouble.

Sex-trouble, ego-trouble, occult-power trouble.

I had an idea that the intermediate zone is something that one is likely to tumble into after making a great progress in sadhana... I find there is some similarity between him, N, etc.

Anybody passing the border of the ordinary consciousness can enter into this zone, if he doesn’t take care to enter into the psychic. In itself there is no harm in passing through provided one does not stop there. But ego, sex, ambition etc., if they get exaggerated, can easily lead there to the fate of N and Co.

... He has very big ideas about himself, e.g. he once said to me that he was trying to solve the sex-problem of the Ashram!

So did N – he solved it finally by joining his wife.

(N.B. Sir, it is your pen that is making these blots.)

Really, I don’t understand, how with so much love for you, such is the result.

Yes, but the vital got into the love and that always creates trouble, unless the vital agrees to be under the control of the psychic.

It is as if the psychic is crying and crying but other parts are dragging him away.

Quite true. But the psychic is weak, the mind erratic, the vital restless and over-eager. Hence these results.

Is this intermediate zone such a beastly thing that you can’t draw anyone out of it in spite of his bearing so much love for you?

The difficulty is that if I draw him out, he runs back into it. These people feel a tremendous attraction to the wrong Influences and call them back. It is because in the absence of the occult experiences they feel ordinary and dull – and they are people who like to be extraordinary. I did pull out G; but he became as flat as a pancake and would do nothing more in the sadhana, because naturally I refused to put any more power upon him as he might misuse it. Others also when I cured their extravagances, complained that they felt so “ordinary” and shouted for their “Extravagant Influences” back again. There are always plenty of forces ready to answer a call like that. How often did I cudgel B and bring him back to his senses and he became quite clairvoyant and lucid for a time. But always he went back to his central Extravagance – mistaking his Ego for the Divine.

By the way –

My boil has burst and as you see

From the depression I am free.

Thanks, Guru, thanks to Thee!

Wilt Thou now pour some poetry?

Yes, I got irritated last night by your persistent boiling and put a gigantic Force which I am glad to see burst the little boil.

Thank God for that!

Free from boil,

At poems toil.

Laugh and grow fat.

Dilip’s temperature was 101.4° in the morning; evening, 100.4°. Had two half-boiled eggs in the morning as he was hungry because we starved him last night!

A robust patient!

He says he has eaten two eggs out of greed, asks to be excused.

Quite safe!

U now vacillates or hesitates, thinking of pain and suffering, etc. and says, “After all how much can it grow in one or two years?” So I leave him with his tumour on the neck.

Mother was looking at his mango. It looked to her as if it was rather deep and would need more than a local anaesthetic. If he is afraid of the operation, no use operating.

I did not quite follow what you meant by “it does not matter” about S. He wants the glasses badly and says his eyes are burning.

Really now, what have I to do with his glasses? He is going – once out of the Ashram, all these things will be his own business.

As he is going tonight, if any intelligent fellow with some interest in work can take his place or guard the Dispensary at least, please give us one.

Good Lord! what high expectations! Where are they, these intelligent interested fellows who are ready to stand guard over the Dispensary? Spot them, please.