Sri Aurobindo

Letters of Sri Aurobindo

4. The Mother in the Life of the Ashram

Fragment ID: 19994

It is a strange thing, but it seems to be absolutely clear that the Mother wants me to go to her. Everything in me says, “Yes, yes, it is true – there is no doubt about it.” And I would surely go to her in spite of this fear that holds me so tight, if only I knew how and where to meet her.

This fear is an absurd and irrational feeling in the subconscient physical – there is no reason for its existence – unless it is the fear of the egoistic physical clinging to its own individuality and unwilling to be “swallowed up” in the Mother. Otherwise it can only be a sort of tamasic counterpart to the rajasic revolt and pride – for these two things often go together or alternate. Mother was and is quite ready to see you. But you must get rid of the fear, distrust and unwillingness, for there should be a trust and openness in you, when you come. If you wish she can fix a time – next Thursday at 9.30. In the meantime we can try to get this obstacle out of you.

21 April 1933