Sri Aurobindo

Letters of Sri Aurobindo

Forth Series

Fragment ID: 21248

It was from your description of the reaction that I said there was a vital demand. In the pure psychic or spiritual self-giving there are no reactions of this kind; no despondency or despair, no saying, “What have I gained by seeking the Divine?” no anger, revolt, abhiman, wish to go away – such as you describe here – but an absolute confidence and a persistence in clinging to the Divine under all conditions. That is what I wanted you to have; it is the only basis in which one is free from troubles and reactions and goes steadily forward.

But are such feelings a sign of the soul’s self-giving? If there is no vital mixture, how do these things come when I write to you and as the result of my writing and trying to show you the way?

It is the first movement of this part to revolt when it is shown its own nature and asked to change.

Difficult? It is the first principle of our sadhana that surrender is the means of fulfilment and so long as ego or vital demand and desire are cherished, complete surrender is impossible – the self-giving is incomplete. We have never concealed that. It may be difficult and it is; but it is the very principle of the sadhana. Because it is difficult it has to be done steadily and patiently till the work is complete.

You have to go on rejecting the vital mixture every time it rises. If you are steadfast in rejecting, it will lose more and more of its force and fade out.

That means it is an obstinate but irrational and mechanical survival of the old movement. That in fact is how these things try to survive. It is bound to go if you do not give it fresh life.

I have no doubt of it – you have only to understand it rightly and you can go at once to the right ground.