October 9, 1968The Mother
Agenda
Volume 9
October 9, 1968
It's still worthless (Mother coughs). I can't even hear myself speak.
And you, are you all right? Is it all over?
Yes, yes, it's over!1
Do you have news from there?
From Rome? Yes, some time ago, P.L. wrote me another letter turned to you. Would you be interested in another vision of V.'s?
He saw something again?!... But is he aware of this affair?
Not at all! It so happens that a few months ago (he didn't understand why), he chanced to see the Pope twice. He didn't at all know why.2 The first time, he found himself there, in front of a throne, in front of this man [the Pope], who at first fixed his gaze on him and tried to hypnotize him. As he began to hypnotize him, V. started repeating your name within himself. Then the Pope stopped that gaze, gave him a smile and asked him, “Where do you come from?” V. replied, “I come from Sri Aurobindo's Ashram.” Then the Pope answered, “Oh, I know the Mother very well!”
(Mother smiles)
V. didn't understand the reason for it, what it meant. Then, a second time, he went there once more, saw the Pope again, who received him kindly and told him, “Oh, I would very much like to return to India.” V. said to him, “If you come to India again, you must come and see Mother.” He answered, “Certainly, if I go back to India, I'll go and see Mother.”
Well, well!... And then?
Then, following that, when you spoke of these attacks coming from there, the thought suddenly occurred to me: “Let me ask him to watch what's happening, what's going on there.” And two days later, he had that vision of that man repeating something, concentrated and watching P.L.'s atmosphere. Then, a few days ago, he saw something else again, but it wasn't there, it was here.
Oh!
On your terrace, a sort of bear – huge, all black, nearly ten feet high, with pointed ears, sitting there regally, and watching. He had taken up position there. He was settled north-west of your terrace, looking north-west.
(Mother keeps her eyes closed, smiling)
Whatever can that be! (Mother coughs)
But that's surely what makes you cough!
(Mother laughs)
A bear? What does a bear mean? A black bear?
A bear...
All black, with very long ears!
(Mother laughs)
And V. said he was still seeing those waves.... You remember he had seen those red waves coming over you; now it's not
that: it's over your house, waves of gray color, and they seem more “scattered,” he told me.
(Mother remains in a long concentration)
A big beard, like this (floating gesture). It's not Sri Aurobindo's beard, it's bushy and well trimmed.
A huge head. But it's not a bear!... Only, I don't see the upper part of the head, just the beard: like this, a big beard (same gesture). A yellowish white – dirty white.
(Mother goes back into concentration)
I am surrounded by [invisible] people and things, the room is full of them!
I constantly see. At night (especially at night), I see moving forms that look like... You know how J. is dressed,3 or Dr. Agarwal4... Oh, speaking of Dr. Agarwal, when Pralhad [his son] died, his mother was very anxious to know if he had come to me. I told her, “Nothing, I haven't seen anything.” So I don't know if it's as a result of that or if I thought about it, but two days ago (the day before yesterday), I went for a stroll in a forest of the vital!... Mon petit, it was beautiful! Oh, a magnificent forest, and so well maintained, so clean, oh, it was lovely! A really magnificent place, really magnificent. Then, I suddenly see a youngish Pralhad there, a mere lad, coming towards me and telling me (in a despairing tone), “I don't know, can't find the religion.” I told him, “You don't need a religion!” He said, “Oh, there's another man here who can't find a religion.” And that was Benjamin!5 I said, “He's an idiot! He doesn't need to find a religion!” There you are: Benjamin lost in a mar-vel-ous forest (it's beautiful, you know!) because he can't find a religion! And Pralhad looking for a religion!... So I wanted to send a line to his mother to tell her, “Be consoled, Pralhad is in a very beautiful place!...”
He looked very well. He was very well dressed....
Oh, how ridiculous!
(silence)
But at night, the room is full – with open eyes!
I see people... people as big as giants, moving about like that, and clumsily. But they don't blunder about. On the contrary, they try to make themselves useful, they don't blunder about.... (Laughing) They do useless things with great seriousness!
(silence)
Oh, what a beautiful forest, mon petit! They must be the forests of... It's between the subtle physical and the vital, as if joining the two – the subtle physical to the vital. Trees as I have only seen in Japan; trees rising straight like columns, planted in rows – magnificent! With light-colored grass, very light, pale green. Grass on the ground, air – lots of air – and at the same time nothing but trees: a forest. But not thick, not crowded. Well then, in that magnificent place, instead of rejoicing, the fool (Mother takes a wailing tone): “I don't know what happened to me, I have no religion”! (Mother laughs) So I told him, “But you should rejoice! No religion – you are in a place much more beautiful than all religions!” (In a whining tone) – “I don't understand....”
(silence)
There's no work.... Are you all right?
Yes, quite all right.... But you can hear me just the same!
Yes, behind a veil. Especially because just now you shouted!
But I didn't!
(After a silence) All these vital worlds are worlds of suggestion. You are in one wave of suggestion: everything is frightening; you are in another wave of suggestion: everything is charming; you are in another wave: everything is magnificent. Like that. It's odd. Like worlds that exist through suggestion. And it's between the subtle physical and the material vital, like this (Mother presses her right hand against her left one), as close as can be.
I have an idea that there also exists a world of medicines which is like that! Because the same medicine, given at different times for the same troubles, produces different results – the same medicine. So if, from within, you make a resolve, if you say, “You will agree with the medicine” (to find out its precise action), then a sort of
mischievous little spirit comes and says (in a mocking tone), “What's wrong with you?!” But the medicine knows nothing about it, because depending on the case... Ah, let me tell you, it's a comedy!
And almost everything is like that, almost everything. And in the end... But I must say that two or three times I wondered if I wasn't on the verge of madness; two or three times I wondered if EVERYTHING wasn't like that, except the Supreme.
So then, would He be putting on an act for Himself, to amuse Himself?... But it's no fun! I told him, “Maybe it's fun for You, but WE don't find it fun!”
But speaking of beauty, these last few months I've seen things... oh, the most beautiful things I've ever seen in my life.
There.
So let's have pity for this (Mother points to her throat) and pity for you too, it mustn't be fun!
Oh, Mother, listen...
(Mother takes Satprem's hands) You're still warm.
No, no, I'm quite fine!
(silence)
Yes, all that I have seen lately is very beautiful, and with open eyes. It's to compensate the fact that I can no longer... (Mother looks around her). No, it's something in the sight that I don't understand – and how many things I don't understand, oh!...
There is, at the same time, the fact of an all-powerfulness without limits, and of a powerlessness without limits. And all that here, at the same place (Mother closes her two hands together, one on top of the other)... And by temperament I am sensible enough not to talk, because if I were to say all that I see, all that goes on and all that's there... they would say, “That's it, she's gone, she's lost her balance; with her mind she's lost her head!” (Mother laughs) So I take a very serious look and say to myself, “Let's see, let's take one of their so very important problems – problems of life and death to them – let's see, let's look at it straight in the face, let's be a little serious....” (Mother laughs) And it's all right, the balance is still there!
So then, tell V. that as for his black bear, I saw it as a brown man, with a brown overcoat and a hat... (you know, those pointed caps) which formed the ears!
But what is it?
Someone who wanted to be useful and did useless things, I told you – I don't know why, I don't know what he wanted. Maybe he wanted to see me?... He didn't seem to be looking – a rather stupid air.
Those things... you give them a little pat on the head like that: “You're quite nice!”
So there.
(Mother looks at Satprem with “those eyes”...)
And the sense of the Presence of the Supreme.
1 It was going to last for some more time!
2 Let us note again that V. is Indian and not particularly interested in the papacy.
3 Like Punjabis, with a long jacket and tight-fitting pants.
4 Who wears a “Gandhi cap” and sports a long beard.
5 A disciple who died six years earlier, in December 1962. See the story of his death in Agenda 4, January 12, 1963.