The Mother

Agenda

Volume 10

April 2, 1969

(Since the previous year, Satprem had complained of headaches and eyeaches, which, strangely, would come during the night. Recently, Mother ordered him to stop reading and writing for a month.)

How are your nights?

All right.

They're not better?

Yes, they're better.

Ah!... Are you still suffering?

If I do anything, I soon get a headache.

But you shouldn't do anything! (Mother laughs)

But often some people want to see me.

As for me, I am not giving you any more work.

That's too bad! It's not tiring, on the contrary. What tires me is seeing people.

But is it necessary that you should see them?

I wonder what I should do. Normally, I think that if they come, it's because they're “sent” ....

(Sujata, in an aside:) I don't think so.

I don't know what to do. For a long time now, all sorts of people have been coming to see me. I wonder what I should do: say no? Or accept-since they come, accept?

It's not always useful, is it?

No, once in a hundred times.

That's right.

Just say that you're not seeing anyone.

They've found the trick! They know that in the evening I go to the beach for a walk, so they come there.

Who are those people?

All sorts of people who've read the book [“Sri Aurobindo or the Adventure of Consciousness”].

I know that a few times, people told me they would like to see you. I said, “It's no use, he has other things to do.”

At home I said, “No one,” because if I receive them at home, I can't work or do anything anymore. That's categorical. But at the beach... they come.

Just go into a meditation at the beach, and you don't hear anything!

I do that sometimes.

That's the best. Then you'll make a reputation for yourself as a great sage! (Mother laughs) And at the same time you'll get some rest!

They're unbearable! I see some of them here (God knows I see them!), but it's understood that I don't say a word, and when they speak to me, I don't hear anything. So when they see there's no reply, they keep quiet.

Otherwise, there's no way! They burden you with perfectly useless things!

But yesterday I saw one of them, a Frenchman who works in Auroville and who's been very much in touch with the people of this new “pop” music (you know, this new music movement that goes with the hippies). He's the father of A., who was born in Auroville.

Yes, I am going to see him for his birthday.

He came to see me and have me hear this music.¹

How is it?

Odd... It's barbarian.

Barbarian.

Barbarian, but my impression was, “The barbarians of the new world.”

(Mother laughs) I'll hear a little on the 16th when I see him.

Those who make this music have millions of followers. They are people with a huge fortune, and with cinema, radio, television and everything at their disposal. And they are right in the middle of a revolution.

How?

Yes, as I told you, the barbarians of the new world. The entire old world is swept away. It's really the beginning of something, which expresses itself in a very barbarian way, but which is something. So this boys idea is to try to get in touch with those people and turn them towards Auroville. Because, of course, they have millions and millions of followers – they have a tremendous power (power over the masses). And they have something, but it's barbarian.

I'd be interested to hear some once, so as to know... but I don't need to hear a lot.

That's what I told him.

I need a few minutes of it.

Exactly. He wanted to have you hear it for an hour!

(Mother laughs heartily, silence)

I've often wondered what's the true attitude towards all those people who come and see me ....

You could be in meditation. (Ironically) You'll make a reputation for yourself as a sage!

And when I speak with them, very strangely, there's a sort of warrior in me, and some people give rise to reactions: I feel like striking. Sometimes it's quite brutal, I don't know why. It comes and strikes. With others, on the contrary, I am very tranquil. Some tell Me, “You're hard!” ...

Has it always been like that? It's not since this new consciousness came? Since the beginning of this year?

Last year, too.

Because I've noticed that in this Consciousness there is something like that: suddenly it comes, oh! and it feels like striking.

Especially when I contact mental pettiness.

(silence)

The people who play this music, are they the same who take drugs?

Yes.

Then it must be in the vital.

Oh, it's quite vital, no doubt. But they have the perception that the world is in the midst of a revolution, that we're moving towards a new world, and all the old conventions have to be swept away. There's no conformity of any sort. They're open to everything.

Open like that (horizontal gesture), not like this (vertical gesture).

No, not like this, but with a certain goodwill nonetheless. They're the ones – or a group of the same type, the Beatles – who went to see this Mahesh Rishi in the Himalayas.

And what happened?

This yogi's idea was “transcendental Meditation,” and he had them come for a month to his place, in the Himalayas. Of course, after two weeks they were getting bored, they couldn't stand it anymore! And the “Transcendent” has little opening onto the world (!)... If on the other hand these people were shown what Sri Aurobindo has brought, a yoga open to the world, they would be touched.

The trouble is that all these people take their desires for inspirations. And then... I have this difficulty with Auroville too, that's why I take every opportunity to repeat to them (they all keep saying that they come to Auroville “to be free”), I answer them that one can be free only if one is united with the Supreme; and to be united with the Supreme, one must have no more desires!

Oh, all that [i.e., desires] was necessary, but... one can't remain stuck there.

(silence)

No news of P.L.?

No.

We have gone a little beyond the times when someone could be locked up .... They can tell him he has “fallen from Christianity,” but I think he doesn't care. Or does he?

He would be affected, because he would be unable to do anything for Catholicism anymore.

That would be a pity It would be a great pity But it's the worst that can happen to him.

He has acted with great courage.

(silence)

The night after you gave me P.L.'s news, I sent him... (how should I put it?) a “special delegation of the Consciousness” so it may let him speak just what he should, and as he should. It'll be interesting to know.

It's wonderful, this Consciousness, it has such a way of seeing things! Really... really unique. I could say that my vision and my understanding of the world, of life, of everything, have completely changed, in a widening... Of course, I had worked constantly to get the widening, but this widening has shown itself to be full of something completely new, completely. And there are two things mingled together: one is this sort of understanding and benevolent Smile, which is CONSTANT, whatever may be there, even the most stupid negations; and at the same time, underneath this benevolence (but “benevolence” is a weak word), there's such a power! A tremendous power. Tremendous... As if it were swollen with power. An almost concrete power, I don't know (Mother feels the air)... it's a light, but a light you could touch, as it were: if it goes through your fingers, it's so concrete that you feel it go through. A deep golden light.

In the space of a few days, I had two cases of people who behaved like fools and ninnies (that often happens!), but those two realized it, felt it, and wrote to me accusing themselves of the very thing that had been seen in this light. So that's new. There was one letter yesterday, and another today; one is a Frenchman, the other an American. Both had behaved absolutely like silly fools, but ordinarily they would have excused their behavior with all sorts of good reasons, while both accused themselves: “I've behaved like a fool.” That's new.

(silence)

We could say this: if you compare the consciousness, not of ordinary humanity but the higher consciousness of humanity, the consciousness one has when one is a man and endeavors to come into contact with the higher consciousness (the contact one has with it), if you compare that with this Consciousness, you feel that as soon as the human consciousness tried to contact higher things, to purify lower movements, to widen, it used to become... fluid, transparent, ethereal, whereas this Consciousness, with a vision, a perception INFINITELY SUPERIOR to the other, is solid and concrete. And the impression is... it's so strong! I said at the beginning that I felt as if surrounded by a protection [the “rampart”], something solid; well, it's remained like that, with this solidity, and at the same time infinitely vaster, loftier, more understanding .... And, yes, this solidity. And in this something I must call “benevolence” for lack of a better word, there's such an extraordinary Power of Compassion! Something like... almost an intolerance of suffering – of PHYSICAL suffering (it's not much interested in the moral suffering that stems from a moral distortion, it finds it idiotic), the wholly material suffering that comes from the structure and working of the material world: it finds that unacceptable. I don't know how to express it, there's a sort of refusal to accept that .... I am observing (we're still in a phase of observation), and from the experiences I have, it seems to me that this Power can, at least to some extent, transform physical suffering, cancel it. In some cases it's obvious, but it's not a constant fact. I don't know. That's why, for instance, I was hoping, from what I had seen and what took place, that your nights would get better, but... Naturally, I am an extremely imperfect instrument.

They're much better.

Yes, but... That's right, it's still in the world of relative things.

The two states are like this (Mother puts one hand tightly against the other). As for this body itself, it constantly has the experience of an almost miraculous state, but there still remains (is it the memory or habit, or really a mixture?), there still remains the capacity to suffer physically, materially. So it means a lot remains to be done.

There is (for me, everything is now a question of vibrations), there is a certain vibration, which I find it hard to describe because there are no words, but which has to do, as I said, with compassion (I don't know what to call it, but it's very, very intense, those perceptions are very intense), and when it comes, it really has extraordinary power, but... it doesn't seem to have the possibility (Mother suddenly tips over two fingers) of an abrupt change. In some cases, people have been completely... quite relieved, but not cured.

My mother, you did cure her.²

Yes, so-so.

But she was completely cured!

Ah, yes (Mother seems to remember), your mother was cured.

I receive unexpected letters from people with whom I haven't been in correspondence, and they give news of cures. But I was referring to the very small circle here .... For Pavitra, it was a miracle even according to a doctor, though he's not a believer;³ it was a miracle, but... it's not total, that is to say, it's still there with the possibility of resuming. And yet Pavitra has taken the best attitude.

It's like that, you see, it's almost wonderful, and then... That's probably so we don't swell with pride and satisfaction, so we know how much change still remains to take place. Of course, when it comes to the physical (Mother looks at her hands), there's no need for any demonstration, it's obvious! But it's been said and repeated a hundred times: that's what will come last. So...

But the inner change is considerable – considerable. It's considerable: from the point of view of consciousness, it has been the greatest change in my whole existence; I've had many of them, I've worked a lot, but... nothing in comparison with what has taken place since the 1st of January. To such a point that the body feels like a different person .... But it's not enough.

We'll see.

But I want you to be strong and solid .... Act the great sage, it'll be fun! (Mother laughs)

¹ It was by the Rolling Stones.

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² There were fears of cancer.

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³ It is a cancer. Unfortunately, there will be a relapse.

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