The Mother

Agenda

Volume 10

November 19, 1969

This morning about 8, I could have told you many things ....

There was a day when many problems came up, following something that took place... then this morning (at the end of the night) I had the experience which was the explanation. And for two hours, I lived in an absolutely clear perception (not a thought, a clear perception) of... the why and the how of the creation. It was so luminous, so clear! It was irrefutable. it lasted for at least four or five hours, then it settled; little by little the intensity and clarity of the experience diminished .... And also, I have just seen lots of people, so... now it's hard to explain.

But everything had become so limpid! All opposite theories, all that was down below (Mother looks down from above), and all explanations, all that Sri Aurobindo said, certain things too that Théon had said, all that, as a result of the experience, found its own place and was absolutely clear. At the time I could have told you, now it's going to be a bit hard.

You understand, many things Sri Aurobindo had said remained... in spite of all that one has read, all the theories and explanations, something remained (how can I put it?) hard to explain (it's not “explain,” that's very small). For instance, suffering and the will to cause suffering, all that side of the Manifestation. There was indeed a sort of foreknowledge of the original identity of hate and love, because they went to the two extremes, but for all the rest, it was difficult. Today it was so luminously simple, that's it, so obvious!... (Mother looks at a note she wrote) The words are nothing. And I wrote with a pencil that writes badly...

I don't know if you can make out these words. They represented something very precise for me; now they're nothing but words.

(Satprem reads)

Stability and change

Inertia and transformation

Yes, those things were obviously identical in the Lord. And especially this: the simplicity of that identity. But now, it's nothing but words.

Stability and change

Inertia and transformation

Eternity and progress

   ——————————————

Unity =...

(Satprem cannot decipher)

It's not I who write, I mean it's not the ordinary consciousness, and the pencil... I don't remember what I put.

(Mother vainly tries to read)

It was the vision of the creation: the vision, the understanding, the why, the how, the whither, everything was there, everything together, and clear, clear, clear .... I tell you, I was in a golden glory – luminous, dazzling.

You see, there was the earth as representative center of the creation, and there was the identity of the inertia of the stone (of what's most inert) and... (Mother again tries to read)

I don't know whether it will come.

I remember that around 7:30 this morning (that's when I wrote) I called you in thought, I said, “If you were here, I could tell you.” It was a VISION.

(Mother remains concentrated for a long time)

I might put it this way (for the convenience of expression, I'll say “the Supreme” and “the creation”): In the Supreme it's a unity that contains all possibilities perfectly united, without differentiation. The creation is, so to speak, the projection of all that makes up that unity, by dividing all opposites, that is to say, by separating (that's what was caught by those who said that creation is separation), by separating: for instance day and night, white and black, evil and good, and so on (all that is our explanation). All together, all of it together is a perfect unity, immutable and... indissoluble. The creation is the separation of all that “makes up” this unity – we might call it the division of the consciousness – the division of the consciousness, which starts from unity conscious of its unity to arrive at unity conscious of its multiplicity IN UNITY.

So then, this route is what, for us – for the fragments – is expressed as space and time.

And for us as we are, each point of this Consciousness has the possibility of being conscious of itself AND conscious of the original Unity And that's the work now being accomplished, that is to say, each infinitesimal element of this Consciousness, while retaining this state of consciousness, is now recapturing the total original state of consciousness – the result is the original Consciousness conscious of its Unity AND conscious of the whole play: all the innumerable elements of this Unity So for us, it gets expressed as the sense of time: going from the Inconscient to this state of consciousness. And the Inconscient is the projection of the primeval Unity (if we may say so – all those words are completely stupid), of the essential unity unconscious of its own Unity – that's the Inconscient. And this Inconscient is growing increasingly conscious in beings who are conscious of their infinitesimal existence and AT THE SAME TIME – through what we call progress or evolution or transformation – who manage to be conscious of the original Unity.

And that, as it was seen, explained everything.

Words are nothing.

Everything, everything, from the most material thing to the most ethereal, EVERYTHING was included in it, clear, clear, clear – a vision.

And evil, what we call “evil,” has its INDISPENSABLE place in the whole. But it would no longer be felt as evil the minute one became conscious of That – necessarily Evil is that infinitesimal element looking on its infinitesimal consciousness; but because consciousness is essentially ONE, it recaptures, regains the Consciousness of Unity – both together. And that's what, THAT IS WHAT has to be realized. It's a marvelous thing. I had the vision: at the time, there was the vision of THAT .... And the beginnings (is it “beginnings”?), what they call in English the outskirts, what's farthest from the central realization, becomes the multiplicity of things, also the multiplicity of sensations, feelings, everything – the multiplicity of consciousness. And that action of separation is what created, what constantly creates the world, and what at the same time creates everything: suffering, happiness, all, all, all that was created, through its... what we might call “diffusion” – but it's absurd, it's not a diffusion: we live in the sense of space, so we say “diffusion” and “concentration,” but it's nothing like that.

I understood why Théon used to say that we are at the time of “Equilibrium.” That is to say, it's through the equilibrium of all those innumerable points of consciousness and all those opposites that one recaptures the central Consciousness .... All that one can say is stupid – just while I am saying it, I see how stupid it is; but there's no other way It's something... something SO CONCRETE, so true, you understand, so ab-so-lute-ly... THAT.

While I was living it, it was... But I might not have been able to say it at the time. This (Mother points to her note), I was obliged to take a paper and write it, but I don't even remember what I put .... The first thing written was this:

Stability and change

It was the idea of the original Stability (if we may say so) which, in Manifestation, is expressed as inertia. And the unfolding is expressed as change. All right. Then came:

Inertia and transformation

But it's gone, the meaning is gone-the words had a meaning!

Eternity and progress

Those were the opposites (those three things).

Then there was a pause (Mother draws a line below the triple opposition), then a Pressure again, and I wrote this:

Unity =...

(three illegible words follow)

That was the much truer expression of the experience, but it's illegible – I think it's deliberately illegible. To be able to read, one would need to have the experience.

(Satprem tries to read)

It seems to me there's the word “repose”?

Ah, that must be it. Repose and...

(Mother goes into a concentration)

Isn't there “power”?

Ah, yes! “Power and repose combined.”

Yes, that's it.

I am not the one who chose the words, so they must have a special force (when I say “I,” I mean the consciousness which is there [gesture above]). It's not this consciousness, it was something exerting a pressure and forcing me to write.

(Mother copies her note)

Stability and change

Inertia and transformation

Eternity and progress

   ——————————————

Unity = power and repose combined.

It's the idea that these two, combined, restored that state of consciousness which was trying to express itself.

It was on the scale of the universe – not on the scale of the individual.

I draw a line between the two to express that they didn't come together.

I remember, I had written the two (“power” and “repose”) and this [the equals sign] to express that they were together, then the word “combined” came.

This should be put in the Agenda.

But often when you speak of this supramental experience, you say it's a lightning-fast movement, and at the same time as if completely still. You've often said that.

But you know, most of the time, after having said it, I forget.

You said, a vibration so rapid that it's imperceptible, that it's as if coagulated and still.

Yes. But it was really a Glory in which I lived for hours this morning.

And then, everything, all, all our notions, all of them, even the most intellectual, it had all become like... like childish pursuits. And it was so obvious that the impression was, “There's no need to say that!”

All human reactions, even the highest, the purest, the noblest, it all seemed so childish!... There's a sentence Sri Aurobindo wrote somewhere, which kept coming back to me (one day, I forget where, he wrote something, a rather long sentence), and in it, there was, “And when I feel jealous, I know that the old man is still there.”¹ I read it more than thirty years ago maybe – yes, about thirty years ago – and I remember that when I read jealous, I thought, “How can Sri Aurobindo be jealous!” Then, thirty years later, I understood what he meant by being jealous-it's not at all what people call jealous, it's quite another state of consciousness, which I saw clearly And this morning, it came back: And when I feel jealous, I know that the old man is still there. This morning, I understood. Being “jealous,” for him, isn't what we call being jealous .... It's this infinitesimal fragment which we call the individual, this infinitesimal parcel of consciousness, which puts itself at the center, which becomes the center of the perception. And then it perceives things coming like this (gesture to oneself) or going like this (gesture away from oneself), and all that doesn't come to it gives it a sort of perception that Sri Aurobindo called “jealousy”: the perception that things go towards diffusion instead of coming towards centralization. That's what he called being jealous. So then, he said, “When I feel jealous” (that's what he meant), “I know that the old man is still there,” which means that that infinitesimal fragment of consciousness can STILL be at the center of itself: it's the center of action, the center of perception, the center of sensation ....

(silence)

But I could note (that's the time when I wash up, when I take my breakfast, write the “birthday cards” and all that), I could note that all the work could be done without the consciousness being altered. That's not what altered my consciousness: what veiled my consciousness was seeing people; that was when I began being here and doing what I do every day: projecting the divine Consciousness on people.

But it has come back... (what could I call it?) on the fringe, I mean that instead of BEING in it, when you asked me I began perceiving it. But the sensation is no longer there – there was nothing left BUT THAT, you understand! There was nothing left but that, and everything, everything had changed – in appearance, in meaning, in...

That must be the supramental consciousness, I think that's what the supramental consciousness is.

But one can very well conceive that for a consciousness vast enough and rapid enough, if I may say so, capable of seeing not just a bit of the trajectory but the whole trajectory at the same time...

Yes, yes.

... everything would be a perfection in movement.

Yes.

“Evil” is simply fixing one's vision on a small angle, so one says, “This is evil,” but if one sees the whole trajectory... In a total consciousness, there is obviously no evil.

There are no OPPOSITES. No opposites – not even contradictions, I say, no opposites. It's that Unity, it's LIVING in that Unity And it's not expressed in thoughts and words. I tell you, it was... a limitless immensity and a light... a motionless light, and at the same time a well-being... without even the appreciation of a well-being.

Now I am convinced that's what the supramental consciousness is.

And necessarily, necessarily, it must little by little change appearances.

(long silence)

There are no words that can express the magnificence of the Grace: how everything is arranged for things to move as fast as possible. Individuals are miserable insofar as they aren't conscious of “that,” as they take a false position with regard to what happens to them.

But what's difficult is the thought that every instant, it must be... it IS perfection.

Yes, that's right.

Every instant, it is perfection.

Every instant there's nothing else! When it was there, there was nothing else.

And yet, I tell you, that's the time when I am materially very busy – I wash up, I take my breakfast, write cards – all that was being done, and it didn't disturb in the LEAST; on the contrary, I think I did things better than usual .... I don't know how to explain. And it wasn't like something “added on”: it was perfectly natural. Only, with differences like this one: I write cards, and at the time of writing them (they prepare for me notes with the names, dates and so on), I am generally obliged to ask who the person is (there are very few whom I know in the multitude of cards I write); this morning, I didn't ask anything: I knew. That's the difference: I didn't need to ask, I knew what I had to write, and that was it, without any question.

Life as it is can be lived in that consciousness-but then one lives it well!... One doesn't need to change anything: what needs to be changed changes by itself quite naturally.

I'll give you an example. For a few days I had difficulties with Z and there was a sort of need to exert a pressure on him so he would rectify a few of his movements. Today he made at least four or five mistakes (they weren't perceptible, in the sense that I didn't have a sensation of them: it was taking place there, like that, some distance away), but he was conscious of them in a COMPLETELY different way from usually, and he admitted it (which he never did before), and in the end he said he was changing (which is true). And all of it not only without one word, but without one movement of consciousness: simply the Pressure. So there. That's a proof .... Everything would be done automatically, like an imposition of the Truth, without any need to intervene: simply remaining in the true consciousness, that's all, it's enough.

There.

But then, despite everything, the body retained some slight consciousness of its needs all these days (though it's not concerned with itself – I always said it isn't concerned with itself, not interested), but that's what Sri Aurobindo said: “I feel I am still the old man.” This morning I understood that, because it was no longer there! You see, that sort of very calm perception, but still of what “goes wrong” (a pain here, a difficulty there), very calm, very indifferent, but the thing is still PERCEIVED (without becoming more important) – even that, prrt! gone, completely swept away!...

I do hope it won't come back. That's really... that's what I understand to be a transformation! You are conscious in a golden immensity (it's wonderful, mon petit!), luminous, golden, peaceful, eternal, all-powerful.

How did it come?... There are really no words to express it, that sense of wonder towards the Grace .... The Grace, the Grace is a thing that exceeds all understanding in its clear-sighted goodness ....

Naturally, the body had the experience. Something took place which I won't tell, and it had the true reaction; it didn't have the old reaction, it had the true one: it smiled, you know, with this Smile of the supreme Lord – it smiled. That remained there for a day and a half. And that difficulty was what let the body make the last progress, let it live in that Consciousness; if everything had been harmonious, things might have dragged on for years – it's wonderful, you know, wonderful!

How stupid people are! When the Grace comes to them, they drive it away, saying, “Oh, how horrible!...” I'd known that for a long time, but my experience is... a bedazzlement.

Yes, each thing is perfectly and marvelously what it must be every instant.

Exactly.

But it's our vision that isn't in tune.

Yes, it's our separate consciousness.

The whole is brought with lightning speed towards the consciousness that will be this Consciousness of the point and of the whole at the same time.

(long silence
Mother completes the copy of her note)

There, I'll write today's date.

Today is the 19th.

19 November 1969: supramental consciousness.

The first descent of the supramental Force² was on a 29th. And this is on a 19th. The figure 9 has something to do with all this .... There are so many things we don't know!

(silence)

I had already had, partially, the experience that when you are in that state of inner harmony and nothing, no part of your attention is turned to the body, the body functions perfectly well. It's this... self-concentration that upsets everything. That I've observed many, many times .... You really MAKE YOURSELF sick. It's narrowness of consciousness, it's division. When you let things work on their own, there's... there's EVERYWHERE a Consciousness and a Grace that do EVERYTHING so that EVERYTHING may go smoothly, and that imbecility is what constantly upsets everything – oddly enough! Self-centered imbecility, that's right: what Sri Aurobindo called “the old man.”

It's really interesting.

¹ Mother is probably referring to this aphorism of Sri Aurobindo: 25 – “When I pine at misfortune and call it evil, or am jealous and disappointed, then I know that there is awake in me again the eternal fool.”

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² On 29 February 1956.

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