Nirodbaran

Talks with Sri Aurobindo

Volume 1

10 December 1938 – 14 January 1941

8 March 1940

Nirodbaran: Nishikanto has passed a distressing night. He says that whatever little faith and devotion he had has left him. Now the physical also, with which he wanted to serve the Divine, is out of gear. So he is getting depressed.

Sri Aurobindo: Why depression? The thing is to get cured.

Nirodbaran: He doesn’t believe he will be cured. He was thinking he would go where his eyes took him.

Sri Aurobindo: In English they say: “To follow your nose.” But what is his complaint at present?

Nirodbaran: Pain. Pain is constant though he doesn’t feel it. (Laughter)

Sri Aurobindo: How is that? If he doesn’t feel it, how can there be pain?

Nirodbaran: I don’t understand either. He says that with any jerk the pain comes.

Sri Aurobindo: Oh, he means that. But one can get spiritual experiences in illness too. The illness doesn’t stand in the way of getting spiritual experiences.

Purani: Besides, what is there to be depressed about? Punnuswamy had ulceration and he lived only on milk for quite a number of years and yet he has been doing Yoga.

Nirodbaran: Yes, he has faith. Nishikanto has lost his faith. His faith comes with a cure and goes with an illness. (Laughter)

Champaklal: How can permanent faith be established?

Sri Aurobindo: By having it permanently. (Laughter)

Champaklal: I mean, does it depend on experience, growth of consciousness and other things, or is it inborn?

Sri Aurobindo: All that. Some people have full faith from the beginning.

Champaklal: How? Acquired from a previous birth?

Sri Aurobindo: Yes, or owing to Karma or consciousness. Some have faith at the end. Some go on doubting even after having experiences.

Champaklal: All have faith in that way.

Satyendra: If all had faith, everybody would come to do Sri Aurobindo’s Yoga. (Laughter)

Sri Aurobindo: Or they have faith but they don’t feel it – like Nishikanto’s pain. That is a splendid statement.

Nirodbaran: Somebody had a vision in meditation. Above his head was projected the cornice of a building and the cornice was covering the sun far up high but the rays of the sun had illuminated the sky on the opposite side of the cornice. Any meaning?

Sri Aurobindo: It is very simple. The vision is symbolic. The building is the mental construction. The cornice is the roof. The mental building is coming between the mind and the sun of Truth.

Purani (pointing at Nirodbaran from behind Sri Aurobindo and laughing): It is his own vision probably.

Sri Aurobindo (to Nirodbaran): Is the “somebody” yourself?

Nirodbaran: Yes.

Sri Aurobindo: That is very promising.

Nirodbaran: How?

Sri Aurobindo: It means the crust is going away.

Nirodbaran: But the sun is far, far away. (Laughter)

A wasp had built a nest behind one of the paintings in Sri Aurobindo’s room and it was constantly coming and going. P broke the nest and threw away two pupas. Sri Aurobindo remarked that the Jains would object to it. P said, “Yes, violently.”