Nirodbaran

Talks with Sri Aurobindo

Volume 1

10 December 1938 – 14 January 1941

10 August 1941

Nirodbaran: A, who has come for the first time, met Dilip in Calcutta in 1937 and 1938. After Dilip’s return to the Ashram for the August Darshan of 1938, A wrote him a letter. He said he was going through a severe crisis. He seemed to be enveloped by darkness twenty-four hours a day and felt that something was trying to throttle him. It is not that he did not see any daylight but that the feeling of darkness was overwhelming, and though there was no physical discomfort, the choking feeling was very real. He did not feel like doing anything though his B.A. examination was only a few months away. There was no earthly reason for his condition, he said. There was no dissension in the family, no lack of money, etc., so he wrote to Dilip that he thought it was owing to something in himself. He asked whether Sri Aurobindo could help and what he would have to do for it.

Dilip, says A, gave a beautiful, encouraging and reassuring answer. He said he sympathised with A’s anguish and hoped that it would not last long. He said that he thought it was owing to something in A wanting a new birth. Till then forces of Nature had dominated him and now something in A, his Antaratma, was rebelling against that domination and naturally the old forces were reasserting themselves with redoubled vigour. Dilip said it was a very good sign and hoped that something really worthwhile would come out of the crisis. He asked A to write a letter, preferably typewritten, to Sri Aurobindo and, if he wished, to the Mother also and, if possible, to enclose a passport size photograph of himself. He assured A that Sri Aurobindo could certainly help. A did as Dilip had suggested and Dilip sent the letters to you. Dilip also enclosed for the Mother an introductory letter in which he gave his impression of A, his family background, etc., and enclosed the photograph. The Mother sent Dilip’s letter back to him with this remark on the margin of the last page: “It is a beautiful face, he must be a charming boy. He may write of his experiences.”

He says he got the letter in the afternoon around half-past five and as soon as he opened it and took the blessing packet in his hand, something happened. He saw a column of white light which was at the same time a force coming down from above, touching the crown of his head and entering his body. Eventually it went down to his feet. He says this was Shaktti-sanchar (a movement of force). He has asked me to report this to you.

Sri Aurobindo: Yes. Anything else?

Nirodbaran: He says that he had more to report but that he is waiting for your reaction.