long hesitation I have decided to inform you.Sri Aurobindo
The Mother
to Prithwi Singh
Correspondence (1933-1967)
18 February 1952
Prithwi Singh — Mother
Ma douce Mère,
On the occasion of the auspicious day of the 21st of February I humbly offer this poem at your sacred Feet and pray that it may be acceptable to you.
... Recently I had two experiences of which after a long hesitation I have decided to inform you.
Last January — it was on the 3rd, I remember — when I was laid up with an acute attack of filarial fever attended with severe pain and shivering, suddenly in the midst of calling your name and the attempt to bear the suffering as quietly as possible, the consciousness separated itself entirely from the body. The detachment was almost complete and after the first moments of bewilderment I realised what a wonderful thing it was. I was observing the pain of the body, in sympathy with it for its sufferings, but not touched by it. For the first time I had this experience of the witnessing consciousness and what a tremendous release it is, Mother!
The same night I had a dream-experience, almost a waking vision. I saw two beings whose faces I could not see, two tall and sturdily built persons wearing what seemed to be heavy fur coats (later I thought they may be carrying on their backs a heavy load of herbs, as some light was gleaming out at times) approached me and looked at me. I had no fear at all, but simply said, “If you have come from the Mother, you can do what you like, if not I have nothing to do with you whoever you may be. I firmly withdraw from your influence and you cannot touch a hair of me.” With that I was quietly taking your name and withdrew to myself. They talked a while with each other, I suspected they smiled at my remarks. Drew something from behind their backs as the light gleamed. But other details I could not follow. Then they slowly left and I was fully awake.
Well, the only result I notice is that this time the fever and the swelling subsided quicker. But the filarial trouble is still there. The body is still unopen to the Force.
I am curious to know who were they, looking almost like twins riding on horseback? And in such cases what is the attitude to take? Obviously there should be no fear, but is there any particular way by which a sort of occult tact can be developed to discern the true nature of the embodied Force or the Being?
If there was anything wrong in the attitude I had taken, kindly let me know, Mother. If nothing needs to be said, at this stage, then of course you will not reply and I will understand your silence, Mother.
With deep devotion I prostrate myself at Thy Feet and offer my pranams. May I remain always open to Thy Will.
Prithwi Singh
Your attitude was quite correct and the best one to have in the occurrence.
They might have been the Aswins, the twin riders, the healers.
With my love and blessings
Mother
18 February 1952