Sri Aurobindo

Letters on Himself and the Ashram

The Complete Works of Sri Aurobindo. Volume 35

Admission, Staying, Departure

Admission to the Ashram, 1927 – 1943 [37]

Oh Father! I want a heart that can respond to all my moods, that can understand me, that can do me justice, that can love me intensely and exclusively. Love, and love alone, is the chief note of my heart. But the inner voice says it is not love I crave for. It is Maya.... If you think it is time for me, will you allow me to come there for sadhana?

Reply to him that what he describes (in the sentence on the first page of this letter [marked non-cursive above], which you can quote) is a vital demand of the ego for emotional self-satisfaction; it is Maya. It is not true love, for true love seeks for union and self-giving and that is the love one must bring to the Divine. This vital (so-called) love brings only suffering and disappointment; it does not bring happiness; it never gets satisfied and, even if it is granted something that it asks for, it is never satisfied with it.

It is perfectly possible to get rid of this Maya of the vital demand, if one wishes to do it,— but the will to do it must be sincere. If he is sincere in his will, he will certainly get help and protection.

It is no use his coming to the Asram for sadhana; for so long as he has this vital demand, it will not be easier but rather more difficult to go on with his sadhana here. Here this vital basis for the Yoga is discouraged, there is a pressure against it and he would probably find the struggle in him made still more acute. He must first get his basis changed from the vital to the psychic centre.

20 March 1932