Sri Aurobindo
Letters of Sri Aurobindo
Volume 3
I don’t know that I need say anything with regard to the other beliefs current in the Ashram of which you make mention in your letter. As for going out, the Ashram has seen Amal go out twice and return with full permission, it has recently seen Vishnu1 and Rambai2 go with the Mother’s permission, both with the full intention of returning – to say nothing of others. As for Nolina you yourself were entirely against her going and only the other day wrote condemning Tagore’s remarks about the matter. Nolina herself always took the position that she ought not to go and asked for help against the other tendency in her. If she had decided to go and told us so, nobody would have stood in her way, although we would not have been lost in admiration at the spiritual wisdom of her choice. Our view is that once the full separate spiritual life is chosen, to cling and turn back to the ordinary one is an error. But if there are circumstances that make the (temporary) departure either harmless or psychologically or otherwise inevitable then we give permission. If the sadhak goes in a spirit of revolt and defiance or goes back to the ordinary life out of egoistic ambition as Bejoy and others did then of course Mother does not wish them to come back (so 
long as that remains) and refuses to allow it. Also if there is treachery, as in Saurin’s case – a fact which you yourself asserted and I don’t see that it can be denied – unless he atoned or changed, there was no reason why he should return, especially as he said his sadhana was going on admirably there. Mother knew his return with an uncorrected spirit would not be good for him and events showed that she was perfectly right. But I have always noticed that whatever untoward thing happens to a sadhak, many consider that it is we whose bad qualities are to blame for it. And yet they go on accepting us as Gurus and addressing us as Divine! That is truly baffling to the reason. Perhaps it shows that there is something really supramental here!!
In your case I have given the reasons why we accept your going out. There is no ground therefore why we should not support you in your music and other undertakings there, m these respects at least you allow that you have been supported and the support has been effective – there is no reason why that shall not continue – the more so if you keep us informed as others at a distance do when they want some help in any endeavour. For the sadhana, your strong distaste (to say the least) for the methods which we find most helpful but you find grim and repellent, makes a great obstacle. But I maintain my idea that if you remain faithful to the seeking for the Divine, the day of grace and opening will come. Nobody will be more pleased than ourselves if it comes over there in the Himalayas, or for that matter anywhere. The place does not matter – the thing itself is all.