The Mother

Agenda

Volume 5

November 28, 1964

I am continuing to relive forgotten aspects of this life, rejected from the nature, that come back in the form of relived memories, as though someone were, you know, trying to “pick holes” (!) in all the possible movements that have occurred in this body, not only to sweep things clean, but also to purify, correct, and illuminate – all the body's memories (I'm not speaking of the mind or the vital)... extraordinary!

And at the same time the understanding comes of all the people I met in my life and with whom I lived for a certain time: for what reasons, with what aim, for what purpose they were there and what action they had and how they did the Lord's work (unknowingly, God knows!) to lead this body to prepare itself and be ready for the transformation.... It's astonishingly perfect in its conception! It's wonderful! And so “inhuman”! Opposed to all moral and mental notions of human wisdom – all the things that appeared the most insane, the most absurd, the most irrational, the most unreasonable and the most “hostile,” all that combined, oh, so WONDERFULLY... to compel this body to transform itself.

And with such a clear vision of the why – why it isn't transformed yet. Oh, there's work to be done....

But it's not a purely individual question.

Indeed, no! Oh, no, it's interdependent with so many things.

Well, yes!

This body is REPRESENTATIVE: as an individual, it is representative of terrestrial modes of being.

And I saw very clearly: some time ago (a year, or maybe more), I believed that the thought and attitude and convictions of certain people [around Mother] were partially the cause of certain difficulties (with regard to age, especially), but that's not true! What people think and what they feel is exactly what's needed to act on this! All that is USED to teach the body what it must know: where its lack of receptivity is, where its inertia is, where... Oh, the slavery to the habit of vibration is a terrible thing, terrible!

From the standpoint of health, it's terrible. And “health” doesn't exist, it means nothing; it no longer means anything. “Disease” no longer means anything, it really doesn't: it's distortions of vibrations and shiftings of vibrations, and... (what can I call it?) encrustations – from the point of view of movement, it's like bottlenecks, and from the point of view of the cell, it's like encrustations: it's what remains of the old Inertia out of which we came.

But it's double: there is Inertia on one hand, and on the other vital perversion – the NERVOUS perversion of the vital world, of the vital influence. There isn't just Inertia: there is a sort of perverted ill will. You can easily (relatively easily) drive it out and eliminate it entirely from conscious mental and vital life; that work, which in the past was considered as, oh, a tremendously difficult thing – changing an individual's nature – is relatively easy; all in the nature that depends on the vital or the mind is relatively easy to change, very easy. I am not saying very easy for the ordinary man, but very easy in comparison with the work in Matter, in the cells of the body. Because, as I told you last time, their goodwill is undeniable and their thrust towards the Divine has become absolutely spontaneous: all that is conscious is luminous – but the trouble is all that isn't yet conscious! It's the mass of all that isn't yet conscious and is, then, tossed between two influences, one as odious as the other: the influence of Inertia (gesture of dazed sluggishness), of the MASS that stops you from moving forward, and the influence of vital perversion and ill will – it's this influence that makes everything crooked, that distorts everything.

And it has become very subtle, very hidden, difficult to ferret out. When almost everything was like that, it was visible, it was conspicuous; but that state changed very fast: the difficulty is what's hidden underneath and isn't “voluminous” enough to draw attention to itself. And, oh, those habits, those habits.... For instance (magnifying it to make it more easily visible), the habit of foreseeing catastrophes....

And anything that disturbs the Inertia is, for Inertia, a catastrophe. In the world, the earthly world (it's the only one I can speak of with competence; of the others, I have only overall visions), in the earthly world, for Inertia (which is the basis of the creation and is necessary to fix, to concretize things), anything that disturbs it is a catastrophe. That is to say, the advent of Life was a monstrous catastrophe, and the advent of intelligence in Life another monstrous catastrophe, and now the advent of Supermind is the final catastrophe! That's how it is. And for the unenlightened mind, it really is a catastrophe! I know cases, for instance, of people who are sick: if they follow the routine of the doctor and medicines and treatment and disease, they get well; if by some mischance (!) they call on the Force and I apply it, the more I apply, the more terrified they are! They feel absolutely unexpected phenomena and they are terrified: “What's happening to me! What's happening to me!” As if it were absolutely catastrophic. The minute the Force comes and they feel just a bit of it, like one drop, they tense up, they resist, they panic, they become absolutely restless. That's right: they become so restless, so absolutely restless! That is, the whole system spends its time rejecting and rejecting all that comes.

It's very interesting.

And I noted it, too, it was that way with the body in the beginning: any unexpected vibration, more powerful, deeper, stronger, TRUER than the individual vibration, and instantly there is a panic in the cells: “Oh, what's going to happen to me!...” Now, thank God, that period is past, but there was a time when it was like that.

So you understand how long the way is.... All that goes on in the mind is child's play in comparison; all their mental difficulties are... to me it's theater – a drama, you know, a drama to interest the public.

Well, I don't know, but there is a long, long way to go – a long way – to change this into a substance plastic enough, receptive enough, strong enough to express the supreme Power. There is a lot to be done, a whole lot.

(silence)

And the popular mind is simplistic, it sees the final result as a natural and almost spontaneous expression; so you aren't so sure, you say to yourself, “After all...” But this also (Mother smiles) is the Supreme's way of doing things – I can see that very clearly.

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(A little later, regarding the music composed by Sunil on the theme of “The Hour of God”:)

It begins with something he calls “aspiration” – oh, it's beautiful!... I have rarely heard something with so pure and so beautiful an inspiration. All of a sudden, a “sound” comes, which is exactly the sound you hear up above. And it isn't too mixed (the fault I find with all classical music is all the accompaniment which is there to give more “substance,” but which spoils the purity of the inspiration: to me, it's padding), well, with Sunil, the padding isn't there. He doesn't claim to be making music, of course, and the padding isn't there, so it's truly beautiful.

I have decided not to play this year for January 1st. Even last year, I very much hesitated to play because I was absolutely conscious of the inadequacy – the poorness and inadequacy – of the physical instrument; but there was a sort of reasonable wisdom which knew how a refusal to play would be interpreted [by the disciples], so I played – without satisfaction, and it wasn't worth much. But the music I heard yesterday was so much THAT, SO much what I would like to play, that I said to myself, “Well, now it would be unreasonable to want to keep in a personal manifestation something that has a much better means of expression [Sunil].” So I have decided to say “No” for January 1st. But I will see if Sunil couldn't prepare something on the theme of next year's message, something that would be recorded and played for everyone, in an anonymous way – no need to say, “It's by this or that person,” it's music, that's all.

You know that they are printing two calendars, one here and one in Calcutta. In the Calcutta calendar, I look happy and I greet with folded hands; so I wrote underneath, Salut à Toi, Vérité [Salute to you, O Truth]. In English (they're a bit slow, you know!), they wanted something more “explicit,” so I wrote, Salute to the advent of the Truth. I am going to give the subject to Sunil: “Make some music on this.”

But still, it's a pity for you to give up music.

Mon petit, I would have to play with two or three people present who had an aspiration – a conscious and trusting aspiration – towards the Sound. For instance, when I played for you and Sujata, it was much better. If I were all alone, it could be good... although if I am all alone, there's a risk that I might go off elsewhere (which easily happens to me)! But if I am with someone who finds it tedious or has no trust, or who is bored stiff (assuming boredom makes you go stiff!), or who wonders when it will be over, or else who begins to criticize, “What does that music mean? It makes no sense,” then...

Yes, it isn't favorable.

The atmosphere isn't favorable, and nothing comes. That's all.

Or else, I'll start thinking, “How long have I been playing? Maybe I should stop now?...”

How can anything come in such conditions?

But it would be a pity if you gave it up altogether.

I have no opportunity to play. Now and then, it would be fun, but I can't. I would like, yes, I would like now and then to be able to be there and let my hands go... led by something other than the ordinary consciousness. But for that, I would need some time. I would need time. And then not to be caught in the cogwheels of a regulated life.

But that's obvious, music to order is hardly the right thing!

But NOTHING to order, mon petit!

It's like those messages people ask me every other minute: “Send me a message.” That's it: you drop two coins into the box, and out it must come! “I have nothing for the first page of my magazine, send me a message,” or else, “My daughter is getting married, send me a message,” or else, “It's the anniversary of the opening of my school, send me a message.” It's at the rate of three or four a day.... This made me suddenly write a note the other day; I saw the image of those music boxes, you know, you dropped two coins into them and then the music would come out. So I said, “For ordinary men, the sage is like a music box of Wisdom: you only have to insert two coins' worth of question and automatically the answer comes out.” Because, really, it has become ridiculous: “We're moving into a new house, send us a message....”

But why do you let yourself get snowed under? You shouldn't send any messages!

But I answer only when it comes. When it doesn't, I say no.

Anyway, this is the spirit nowadays.

And I am obliged to keep regular hours because the entire life of others depends on it. That was why people wanted to withdraw into solitude – there is an advantage and a drawback; the advantage is that I try to make things very automatic, that is, quite outside a conscious will: they should work by themselves. On the mental level, it's very easy, you can detach yourself completely and nothing matters; but for the body, it's difficult, because its rhythm... The whole rhythm of ordinary life is a mentalized one; even people who live in vital freedom are at odds with the whole social organization – it's a mentalized life: there are clocks that strike the hour and it is agreed that things must be that way.... Mentally, you can be perfectly free: you leave your body in the cogwheels and stop bothering about it; but when it's this poor body itself that has to find its own rhythm, how difficult it is!... How difficult. Sometimes, all of a sudden, it feels a discomfort; then I look and I see that there is something that could be an experience, but that would necessitate certain conditions of isolation, of quietness and independence, and it isn't possible. Then, very well... as far as I can, I go within and do the minimum (the maximum of what can be done, which is a minimum compared to what could be done).

But of course, Sri Aurobindo always said: “For the Work to be complete, it must be general” – one cannot give up. An individual attempt is only a very partial attempt. But the fact that the Work is general delays the results considerably – well, we have to put up with it. That's how it is, so that's how it is.

(silence)

If the action were individual, it would necessarily be extremely poor and limited; even if the individual is very vast and his consciousness is as vast as the earth, the experience is limited. It's still one aggregate of cells, which can only have a limited sum of experiences (maybe not in the course of time, but undeniably in space). But the minute the identification with the rest takes place, the consequences take place, too: the difficulties of the rest come and have to be absorbed, they have to be transformed. So it amounts to the same thing. It's exactly what's going on now: I don't go out, I have limited my activities as much as possible (I see plenty of people, but still infinitely less than before – before, I used to see them by the thousand), but this reduction is largely made up for by the widening of the physical, material consciousness, to such a point that I constantly, constantly have sensations that seem like individual sensations, but immediately I can see that they are other individuals' sensations, which come because the consciousness is spread out and receives all that in its movement: a movement as if one gathered everything together, then gave it to the Lord.

(silence)

Ten past eleven! Oh, you see (laughing), the clock is calling us!

And you?... I am asking you, but I know – it isn't that I don't know, but I would like you to tell me.

Physically?... The troubles are starting up again. The body isn't very bright either.

Those new dentists will soon have set themselves up, then you can go and see them. Naturally, it still belongs to the old methods, but we shouldn't brag, you know! We shouldn't think we have arrived before we've reached the end. To the people who write to me, “Oh, I rely on your Force alone, I don't want any medicine,” I reply, “You are wrong.” Because I, too, take medicine – and I don't believe in it! Yet I take it just the same, because there is all the old suggestion and all the old habit, and I want to give my body the best possible conditions.... But it's quite amusing: as long as it's given the medicine, it stays very quiet, and if it isn't given the medicine, it starts saying, “Why? What's the matter?” Yet when the medicine is there, it has no effect, it doesn't intervene; it's merely... merely a habit.

Not to speak of the cases when it makes things worse. For instance, for those very tooth troubles, the doctor wanted to give me those penicillin pills that you let melt in your mouth to prevent an inflammation; when I take one of those pills (laughing), there's a furious rage in all my teeth! As if all the elements attacked were furious: “Why are you disturbing us? We were nice and quiet, we weren't troubling you!” And everything starts swelling furiously.

It's amusing to follow it consciously, very amusing! And you see: diseases, medicines, all that is part of the old drama.

But we must keep on playing, because there are people who take it seriously! They WANT (it's the habit), they want us to keep on playing: “Keep on playing, don't brag, you still don't know – you still don't know how to cure us or transform us.” It's true, I don't deny it, I don't yet know how to transform them, so... One shouldn't be proud, that's very bad.

We'll see.