The Mother

Agenda

Volume 6

August 4, 1965

(While sorting old notes of Mother's, Satprem comes across the following passage:)

“Always listen to what the Lord of Truth has to tell you and let your action be guided by Him.”

That's good.

I often wonder.... We are indeed told that we should leave our action to the Lord, but shouldn't we help him a bit?!

(Mother laughs) He certainly must need help!

No, it sounds like a joke, but the truth is that He WANTS US to help Him, He doesn't at all want us to be passive and inert.

He wants us to help Him.

Because when one is immobile up there, I feel it as a blank, but a blank in which nothing happens.

No! It's admirable. But it's admirable provided you don't live in the world, provided you live secluded in the cave or the forest. Because in worldly life, there are all the wills, impulses, desires from all those around, which keep coming constantly; so then, if you are passive, you also receive that. And it's to protect yourself from that that you should remain active – help the Lord.

But this note was intended for someone who needed to hear this. They aren't – they are NEVER universal things applicable to one and all.

What I find very difficult is to find the demarcation line...

Yes, yes!

... between personal intervention, the will that wants to do something, and then what I think ought to come in absolute silence.

I have now reached the state in which... I don't hear Him, but I perceive Him very concretely: “Do, do this, do that, do that....” So...

That's what one would need.

Till then, you are forever wondering if you are doing the right thing. But it has become like that: “Do this.” And when there is nothing, I do nothing. But I have noticed that when necessary, it comes, and constantly, even at night! Even when I “sleep,” it becomes like that: “Do this, do that...” – not with words, but it's very clear, you can't make a mistake.

It took a long, long time for it to come like that. But that state you are referring to, I knew it for years: you sit there, wondering... Because, as I said, in order to be absolutely blank and immobile, you must be withdrawn from the world, seeing no one, doing nothing; then you can perceive clearly; but otherwise, when you are in the world and all those suggestions keep coming all the time, you must allow what is called the “personal” will to express itself when you don't receive a very precise Command.

But the aspiration always was to receive the true thing. And it comes, you reach a point when it comes clearly – clearly, very clearly – for everything, even for the very small things of everyday life: “Do this, do that....”

Yes, that's what is needed.

But I must say it is the result of years of effort – not effort: vigilance. Vigilance: not to forget that THAT is what one wants, and that the other way is simply a stopgap in the meantime.

At any rate, it is quite certain (Sri Aurobindo wrote it somewhere, I read it again just two or three days ago), quite certain that the Lord doesn't want automatons that He has to push along. That's not what He wants: He wants a conscious collaboration. Only, a point comes when the sense of the person truly disappears; you go on saying “I,” because how do you express yourself? But when you say “I,” you have the feeling (not the thought – for the thought, it takes a long time), a sort of feeling of the higher Will manifesting here, in this spot, with these means.

It comes after years.

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Soon afterwards, regarding another note:

“But It may have manifested partially and momentarily in an individual, as a promise and an example.”

This was an answer to someone who asked me whether the supramental Force had manifested on earth previously.

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(Before leaving, Satprem informs Mother that he has received a letter from the Vellore hospital asking him when he would come for new tests:)

So are you going to reply?

... Oh, no! I'll never go back there. All that I remember from there is a nightmare.

I understand!

It was worse than the Pondicherry hospital.

Oh, here it was disgusting.

Yes, it was disgusting, but here I didn't have that sense of being ill. While there I had the sense of being ill.¹

But the minute you step into their hospitals, you are ill! That's right, it's as I say: it's the medical atmosphere. Jules Romains said it: “A healthy man is a man who doesn't know he is sick.” So a priori you are sick – it goes without saying that you are sick. And if they don't immediately find what's wrong with you, it's because you have the knack of hiding it!

But, oh, how many little experiences I've had about this, and so interesting! Something is wrong here or there in the body, a small thing; as long as you don't pay attention to it – as long, above all, as you don't mention it to anyone – and you give it up to the Lord (if it happens to hurt, you give it up to the Lord), it's all right – it's fine, you aren't sick: it's “a disorder somewhere.” If you are unfortunate enough to utter a word about it to anyone, and especially to the doctor, whoever he is, it instantly becomes an illness. And I know why, it's because the cells that are in disorder feel all of a sudden they are very important and very interesting persons! So then, as they are very interesting, they must make themselves still more interesting. If they have a movement that isn't harmonious, they exaggerate it – it becomes even less harmonious in order to assert itself more.

It sounds like a joke, but it's true! That's how it is, I know it. I have observed it carefully in my cells. So when they are told (Mother slaps her armrest), “You fools! That's not your duty at all, you are ridiculous,” they keep quiet.

As a drama, it's wonderful.

That's what happened with my eye.² It happened with other things too (small things, very small things, a disorder somewhere, something that went askew for some reason or other); as long as you don't pay attention to it, it carries on in its own sweet way; as soon as somebody notices it or you show it to the doctor (oh, especially when you show it to the doctor), it becomes an illness: it swells up and swells up! “Oh, I am an important person, I am receiving attention.” That's how it is. So they intensify the movement. And you are lucky if it doesn't actually become serious.

You see, they must immediately be told, “No, no, No! You are taking the wrong road, you are making yourself much more ridiculous – be quiet.” Then things get better.

It's very interesting.

The doctor crystallizes the illness, makes it concrete, hard. Afterwards, he takes credit for curing it... when he can!

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(As he is about to leave, Satprem lays his forehead on Mother's knees and receives a mass of force. He probably appears stunned by the “avalanche,” and Mother remarks:)

It comes like this (Mother bangs her fist down as if into Matter). But it's rather interesting because it comes straight from above and when it reaches the earth atmosphere, it gathers there all the energies of the earth, and then it enters (same gesture). Now it has become like that. A rather strong golden light, which comes massively, then touches the earth atmosphere and ATTRACTS and gathers the vital energies of the earth, and then it goes like this (same gesture banging down). I see it – I see the thing – and it goes through my arms, my hands.... (With an ironic smile:) Do you feel something or not?

Oh, yes, I feel the Force!

(Mother laughs at Satprem's tone) Good; then it's all right!

But it is very interesting. It's growing stronger and stronger... day after day, month after month.

(the hour strikes)

Very well, so we won't bother about doctors. Au revoir, mon petit!

¹ The Vellore hospital was much better “organized in illness,” as it were, with American doctors.

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² Mother repeatedly had bloodshot eyes.

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