August 28, 1968The Mother
Agenda
Volume 9
August 28, 1968
(Mother receives Satprem and Sujata in her new, low armchair made of rosewood, which will remain till the end. She no longer gets up to fetch flowers for them.)
Come here, I am more deaf than ever! How are you?
It's been a long time without seeing you!
It was interesting, mon petit. I've kept all these notes, we'll see them. It's not over. It's not over and I don't know when it will be. But anyway, I'll be able to see you again in the morning.
First, you must be famished!
No, not at all!
(Mother gives Satprem soup packets)
Do you have news?
No, Mother. I saw something before August 15, one night around August 11. I saw a huge, fantastic wave of white foam, but a wave higher than a house, fantastic; and propelled by that wave, an immense, completely black steamship, which seemed to go rolling on the rocks, but it wasn't crushed. It was propelled by that wave. And another ship, much smaller, which seemed to be light gray and was going even faster. And that fantastic wave of white foam.
Many things are stirring over there.... You know the events in Czechoslovakia.1
Things are stirring.
A black steamship?
Yes, a huge steamship. And strangely, it seemed to be going on the rocks (which were also black), but without being crushed.
I am sure the movement has begun. How long will it take to reach a concrete, visible and organized realization? I don't know.
Something has started.... It would seem to be the onrush of the new species, the new creation, or at any rate a new creation.
A terrestrial reorganization and a new creation.
For me, things have become very acute.... It was impossible to utter one word, one single word: as soon as I spoke, I would start coughing and coughing. Then I saw it was decided that I shouldn't speak. I remained like that and let the curve unfold. Afterwards, I understood. We haven't reached the end, but... (how should I put it?) we are on the other side.
At one point things were so acute... Usually I don't lose patience, but it had reached the point where everything, just everything in the being was as if annulled. Not only could I not speak, but my head was in a state it had never been in my whole existence – painful, you know. I couldn't see anything anymore, couldn't hear anything anymore. Then, one day (I'll tell you the experiences afterwards), one day when things were really... it was difficult, painful all over, the body said, it said really very spontaneously and very strongly, “I don't care in the least about being dissolved, I am quite ready to live, but this condition is impossible, it cannot go on – either live or die, but not this.” And from that moment on, things started improving slightly. Little by
little, they took their place and were sorted out.
I took a few notes, which aren't worth much, but I think they can be used (Mother looks for her notes on a table by her side). I can't see yet. I can't see, but I know.
I have two things here. One, a bit sarcastic and brief, can be used as “Apropos” in the next Bulletin. And I have others out of which, if you organize them, you can, I think, prepare the “Notes on the Way.”
The “Apropos” is very brief (Satprem reads out):
“The doctor recommends not to tire oneself. What is it that tires? – Only that which is useless.
“Seeing sincere people, to whom it does good, is not a fatigue.
“But those who come to judge theories and practices, those who, with their intelligence, think they are highly superior and capable of distinguishing the true from the false, who imagine they can decide whether a teaching is true and a practice is in accordance with the Supreme Reality, those are tiring and seeing them is useless, to say the least ....
Oh, yes, I do understand! I understand that very well!
(Mother laughs) I thought it could make an amusing little note.
Oh, I've seen loads of such people, you know!...
“...Let the higher intelligences putter along in their own sweet way, which will go on for millennia, and let them leave simple and goodwilled people, those who believe in the Divine Grace, free to move on quietly on their path of light.”
Then, here, I have several notes, I don't know what it is....
(Mother holds out papers to Satprem)
The first note is dated August 22:
“For several hours, the landscapes were wonderful, perfectly harmonious.
“For a long time too, visions inside immense temples, with living godheads. Each thing with a precise reason and purpose, to express nonmentalized states of consciousness.
“Constant visions.
“Landscapes.
“Constructions.
“Cities.
“The whole thing immense and very diverse, covering the entire visual field and expressing states of consciousness of the body.
“Many, a great many constructions, immense cities being built....
Yes, the world being built, the future world being built. I couldn't hear anymore, couldn't see anymore, couldn't speak anymore: I was living inside that all the time, all the time, night and day. So, as soon as I could write a note, I noted that.
“...All kinds of building styles, mostly new, inexpressible.
“These are not pictures seen, but places where I am.”
Yes, that's right. I'll explain to you what happened. There's another note which is the beginning:
“The vital and the mind sent packing so that the physical may truly be left to its own resources.”
All by itself! All alone. And I realized the extent to which the vital and the mind are what make you see and hear and able to speak. It was... I could see, in the sense that I was able to move about, but it quite lacked precision. It lacked precision. I heard still less than before, that is to say, very little – a little: sometimes the same as before; sometimes a very faint sound, very far away, which others couldn't hear, I heard; and when they spoke to me, I wouldn't hear: “What are you saying?” I don't know. And that was continuous, night and day.
One night (this is to tell you how everything was upset), one night I was in pain; something had happened and there was a rather strong pain: impossible to sleep. I remained concentrated
like that, and the night went by in what seemed to be a few minutes. While at other times, on other days, at other moments, I was concentrated, and off and on I would ask for the time; once I thought I had remained like that for hours and hours, and I asked, “What time is it?” – Only five minutes had gone by.... You understand, everything was, I can't say upset, but of a completely different order, completely different.
The 23rd was A.'s birthday. “Poor man,” I thought, “he's come here, I must see him.” I called him, and he sat down. And all of a sudden, just like that, right away, the head started working – not “head,” not “thought” (Mother draws kinds of currents or waves passing through her), I don't know how to explain; it wasn't a thought: it was kinds of visions, of perceptions. Then I asked him questions, and he noted them down (Mother holds out to Satprem a typewritten note). He only noted my questions, not his replies.
Mother said...
on August 23, 1968, in the afternoon
“Do we know how Matter was formed?...
It was the physical asking questions. I don't know, probably through the contact with A.'s atmosphere,2 this body became interested to know how it was all formed. A. was here and I knew he could answer, so I asked him the questions.
“Do we know how Matter was formed?
“To say that it is condensed energy is simply pushing the problem back.
“The real question is: how does the Supreme manage to manifest himself as Matter?...
Poor A. was a bit surprised! You see, these subjects which are considered so important, so vast, so noble, so... I talk about them in quite a childlike tone and with quite ordinary words (Mother laughs), so that puts things on a different level... which he found difficult to adjust to! He said, “I did my best” (!)
“...Do we know how long the earth has existed?
“When we speak of millions or billions of years, what does it mean?...
There were no watches, you understand!... It was the body which said with a child's simplicity, “You speak of billions of years, but what did you measure them with!”
“...Is it sure that what we call a year has always represented the same thing? During this recent period, I have had the awareness of the nonreality of our usual notion of time. At times, one minute seemed interminable; at other times, hours and even a day went by apparently without having lasted.
“Do they say there was a beginning? (Here A. explains to Mother the theory according to which the universe goes through successive phases of expansion and contraction, and Mother seems to like that theory.)
Yes, those are the pralayas.3
“...Now it's the body that asks those questions. The mind went away long ago. But the body, the cells of the body would like to make contact with the true being, without, so to speak, having to go through the vital or even through the mind. That is what is taking place.
“During this period, two or three times I have had the Knowledge....
Ah, I had moments, two or three times absolutely unique and wonderful moments – untranslatable. It's untranslatable.
“But as soon as one is aware of such an experience...
You have the experience, then become aware of having it; the minute you become aware of having it, it grows dark. Something is darkened.
Yes, it's the whole problem of the mind's objectification, which, in fact, will disappear in a species to come.
Yes, it seems to be like that.
(A.'s note goes on)
“But as soon as one is aware of such an experience, as soon as it is imprinted in the memory, it is already completely warped.
“That is, in reality, what happens for scientists. When they have a little fragment of knowledge, they must clothe it, travesty it to make it accessible to human consciousness, comprehensible to the mind.
(silence)
“Do we know how long man has existed?
“It will take less time for the superman to appear than it took for man to develop, but it isn't for right now....
That day, the 23rd, I was still... I was still in a muddle, mon petit! So I thought that to emerge from that muddle and become an effective being, who exists and acts, a long time will be needed. That's what I told him.
But you also say, to conclude the note:
“We will have done what we could.”
Yes, I told him that to comfort him!
And one night, here is what happened (Mother holds out another note, written by herself):
Night of the 26th
“Powerful and prolonged penetration of the supramental forces into the body, everywhere at the same time....
Penetration into the body. Yes, penetrations of currents I had had several times, but that night (two nights ago, that is), what came all of a sudden was as though there was nothing anymore except a supramental atmosphere. Nothing remained except that. My body was in it. And it was PRESSING to enter, from everywhere, but everywhere at the same time – everywhere. You understand, it
wasn't a current flowing in, it was an atmosphere penetrating from everywhere. It lasted for at least four or five hours. And there was only one part that was BARELY penetrated: it was from here to here (gesture between the throat and the top of the head). Here it seemed gray and dull, as if the penetration were less... My teeth are in a dreadful state, my head is in a dreadful state – I tell you, I can't see anymore, can't hear anymore, can't... All this (from head to throat) is in need of a great transformation. But apart from it, all the rest without exception – it was pouring and pouring and pouring in.... I had never, ever seen that before, never! It lasted for hours – hours. Perfectly consciously.
So when it came and while it was there, I was conscious: “Oh, that's why, that's why! That's what You want from me, Lord, that's what! That's why, that's what You want.” At that moment I had an impression that SOMETHING was going to happen.
I was hoping it would come back last night, but there was nothing.
It's the first time. For hours. Only That remained. And this (the body) was like a sponge soaking up.
But the head, it's still gray, dull – gray and dull. And the teeth quite spoilt, anyway still in a condition... But still, a very clear vision of all that has happened to this body for the past few months and... almost a hope. Almost a hope, as if I were told something might take place here. So there.
And that was in response to what the body had said, two or three days earlier perhaps, which I told you at the beginning: that it was quite ready to be dissolved (the surrender is perfect) and was quite ready to go on living in any circumstances, but not in this condition. Not in this state of decomposition. To that there was no response for two days, till that Penetration took place. That is to say, the very next day I was a little better, I could start... I couldn't even remain standing! I had no sense of balance, I had to be held up. I had lost the sense of balance, I couldn't take one step. That was when I protested. And the very next day, it started coming back.
Then came the 23rd, when I saw A., and I realized that when he was here, the BODY was wide awake – you understand, it wasn't the mind or the vital: they were gone!... I don't know if you can realize what it means!
Yes, it's fantastic.
A body without mind and without vital. It was in that state. There were only those perceptions [cities, constructions, temples],
it was living in soul states: there were others' soul states, the soul states of the earth, the soul states... Those soul states were expressed in pictures. It was interesting. I can't say it wasn't interesting – it was – but there was no contact with material life, very little: I could hardly eat and couldn't walk.... Anyway it had become something others had to look after.
And through the contact with A., the body began to be interested in all that, asking questions quite spontaneously, without knowing why. It asked and asked, “Oh, so this is how we're made....” And it began to be amused.
It will take a little time.
When that Penetration came two nights ago, I thought, “Ah!...” I hoped the curve was going to accelerate and we would emerge soon, but last night there was nothing. Which makes me say it's going to take some more time.
But strangely, in your note of the 26th, you add:
“As if the entire body were bathing in forces penetrating it everywhere at the same time with a slight friction....”
Then you say:
“The head down to the neck was the least receptive region.”
It's strange that it should be the least receptive?
No, it's the most mentalized region. It's the mind that obstructs.
Strangely, every time you've had those great moments, or violent blows, if I may say so, every time it's the mind and vital that were swept away. The first time too, in 1962.
Yes, every time.
I know, it's like that: the mind and vital have been instruments to... knead Matter – knead and knead and knead in every possible way: the vital through sensations, the mind through thoughts – knead and knead. But they strike me as transitory instruments which will be replaced by other states of consciousness.
You understand, they are a phase in the universal development,
and they will be... they will fall off as instruments that have outlived their usefulness.
So then, I had the concrete experience of what this matter kneaded by the vital and the mind is, but WITHOUT vital and WITHOUT mind...
It's something else.
But with that “perception of soul states,” there were things... marvels! No mental conception, none at all, can be as wonderful – none. I lived moments... All that one can humanly feel and see is NOTHING in comparison with that. There were moments... absolutely wonderful moments. But without thought, without thought.
We could put that little “Apropos”... (where I poke fun at people!), then with all this you could prepare the “Notes.”
There are a few more notes here, which I haven't read to you. You say:
“For man, in most cases, consciousness begins with sensation. For the body, all sensations had as if lessened, or rather dimmed: eyesight and hearing as if behind a veil. But an extremely clear perception of the degree of harmony or disharmony. Pictorial expression, NOT THOUGHT nor even felt.”
I told you, I saw... It's not “seen” as you see a picture: it's BEING IN, being in a certain place. I've never seen or felt anything so beautiful! And it wasn't felt, it was... I don't know how to explain it. There were some absolutely wonderful, marvelous moments – unique. But it wasn't thought, I couldn't even describe – how can you describe? You can only start describing when you start thinking.
There's one more note:
“The body's state of consciousness and the quality of its activity depend on the individual or individuals among whom it is....
Ah, that was very interesting! It was very interesting because I saw like this (gesture like a film unfolding), it was changing. If someone came near me, it would change. Near me were P., V., the doctor, and C. less often, now and then, but C. didn't have much effect on the atmosphere. But the other three, especially P. and V.... One
day, mon petit, I don't know what happened to them: they were superhuman. A day when I must have been apparently in danger, I don't know. One day, the whole day long, the pictures (not “pictures”: those places where I was) were so wonderfully beautiful, harmonious.... It was inexpressible, inexpressible. And with the slightest thing changing in their consciousness, lo and behold, everything would start changing! It was a sort of perpetual kaleidoscope, day and night. If there had been some way to record it... it was unique. Unique. And the body was in it, you understand, almost porous – porous, without resistance, as if the thing were passing through it.
I lived hours... the most wonderful hours, I believe, that one can live on earth.
And it was so expressive, so revealing! So expressive. One night, for two hours, there were those temples I mentioned (it wasn't physical), with such immensity and majesty... and LIVING godheads, mon petit! Not pictures. And I know what it is. And then, the state of consciousness of Eternity, oh!... As if above all circumstances.
There were UNIQUE things, but how to tell them?... Impossible. Impossible: not even enough consciousness to be able to write.
The note goes on:
“The seat and field of its [the body's] Consciousness as well as the quality of its activity change and vary according to the persons present, over a complete range, from the most material to the most spiritual, going through all the different types of intellectual activity.
“But the perception of the Presence is constant and associated with all the states of consciousness, whatever they may be...
Ah! I noticed that the cells, everywhere, you know, constantly, all the time, were repeating, OM NAMO BHAGAVATE, OM NAMO BHAGAVATE... constantly, all the time.
“...and OM Namo Bhagavate is repeated spontaneously and automatically in a sort of ‘hazy’ peace.”
That's why we can't say the body was suffering, you understand, we can't say it was ill, that's not possible! It's not possible.
There was only one moment when really something in the body (I don't know what) said... (But I didn't note that, because I don't want it to be said, it mustn't be said; I am saying it to you simply to explain, but it mustn't be published, it mustn't be said, I don't want....) The body said (it was in its Communion), it said, “I am ready for complete dissolution. I am ready for eternal life. But not this, not this state of semi-decomposition: I must get out of it.” And from that moment on, things took a turn upward.
That is to say, for a few minutes the body lost patience. And then it knew, this fool, a few minutes later, it knew it had simply refused to accept a more total experience – very well. You see, the body hadn't had the necessary courage or endurance or patience or faith to accept a more total experience.
Would you imagine that suddenly, I don't know... I must say it wasn't pleasant (!), something came from outside, like a malicious suggestion telling me, “If you get cured now, when you have to die
you'll have to go through this
again.”4 It was hideous! I think that was the cause of the body's outburst.
So we shouldn't mention it.
I regard it as a defeat.
But I must say (quite modestly) that I don't think many could have endured that.
There.
So now the body is saying its mea culpa.
We'll see.
So there, mon petit.
1 On August 20, Russia invaded Czechoslovakia.
2 A. has a scientific background.
3 Pralaya: the end of a world, followed by a new world or a new era.
4 One night, a disciple, who usually was a very good clairvoyant, heard a voice, whose vibration was clearly hostile (a voice he felt coming from a vital world very near matter, almost a material world). That voice declared that Mother would pull through this time, but that the last battle would return in 1972.