The Mother

Agenda

Volume 11

January 7, 1970

I found some old papers....

(Mother points to a few notes)

But first, yesterday I received Aphorisms, two of them, and suddenly... (gesture of descent) Sri Aurobindo came and wrote – in French. Afterwards, I didn't even remember what he had written. I only said (since it was he who had written) that I would like to have the text right away. They brought it to me yesterday evening so I could show you.

(Mother holds out a sheet of paper)

271 – He who would win high spiritual degrees, must pass endless tests and examinations. But most are anxious only to bribe the examiner.

272 – Fight, while thy hands are free, with thy hands and thy voice and thy brain and all manner of weapons. Art thou chained in the enemy's dungeons and have his gags silenced thee? Fight with thy silent all-besieging soul and thy wide-ranging will-power and when thou art dead, fight still with the world-encompassing force that went out from God within thee.

(Mother's comment:)

“Truth is a difficult and arduous conquest. One needs to be a true warrior, a warrior who fears nothing, neither enemies nor death, for, despite all opposition, with or without a body, the fight goes on and shall end in Victory.”

If you knew how COMPACT with golden light it was when it came! And I did not remember at all what was written.

But that's almost triumphant!

Isn't it? Oh, there was an atmosphere of triumph. The atmosphere was so... dense, you know. I only had the impression... yes, that impression of victory, of ABSOLUTE certitude: all possible doubts were gone, all weaknesses were gone, it was all like that. Afterwards, I said to myself, “But what did I write?...” I had forgotten. Then I read it again (they brought it to me yesterday evening), and when I read it again, I said, “Oh, that's it!...” I had forgotten.

It was so much the true consciousness, in which death does not exist: What is it? – Nothing. That was the impression while I was writing, as if he had suddenly made me enter a world of truth in which this whole world of illusion and falsehood no longer had any force.

I felt that very strongly, very strongly, and afterwards I said to myself, “What did I write?” When I read it again in the evening, I thought, “Oh, that's it!”

It's interesting.

It's irrefutable.

Yes, that's how it is, there's nothing to be said.

Do we keep it for August 15 [Sri Aurobindo's birthday]?

Why not give it on February 21 [Mother's birthday]?

But then, without signature?... I can't sign “Sri Aurobindo” – it would look like a forgery! So without signature.

But why not sign yourself?

Myself... it's just this (Mother pinches the skin of her hands).

That's an idea: I'll give it as a message.

*
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Then, while sorting out papers (this is much less interesting), I found a few things....

(Mother holds out a first note)

Why do men want to worship? It is much better to become than to worship.¹

(Mother laughs) I remember that, I wrote it long ago....

In April '69 [on the 26th].

Some people wrote to me letters and did all kinds of things to express their adoration and so on, and I felt so clearly that it's out of a LAZINESS to change that they worship! (Mother laughs)

Another one:

If you want to find your soul, to know and obey it, stay here at any cost.

If that is not the goal of your life and you are ready to live the life of the great majority of people, you can certainly go back to your family.

That's good, too. There are so many who ask, “Why stay here?...” I thought it could be useful. And the last:

To people of ill-will

The harm you have caused willfully always comes back to you in one form or another.²

Below there is a note: “Dictated by the S. M. [superman] consciousness.”

Yes, it's that Consciousness which, one day... I remember, I was thinking, “Why be attached to things like that?” Then it answered this and insisted until I had written it.

The harm you have caused WILLFULLY (that is, the will to harm, the will to destroy) always comes back to you, always.... And let me add that this Consciousness DOES it – its doing it: I SEE it. Quite unexpected things.

Many people have had a movement of anger, a movement of... willfully causing harm – it comes back to them.

Do we put it in the February Bulletin?

As you like. For the Bulletin, you're the judge! (Laughing) No, really and quite sincerely, nothing in me has an opinion anymore – nothing anywhere. Because I see that everything can be presented (Mother turns her hand to all sides as if to show countless facets) this way, that way, or that other way.... So...

Moreover, strangely, once something has been decided, a force immediately comes to support it.... But I am not saying that, because people would take advantage of it! I am saying it for us. I entrusted the Bulletin to you, and I see: once its decided, the Force comes and gives its support – I'm not saying that so you become negligent! But that's how it is. It's very interesting.

It's very interesting, things become... I don't know... concrete. Things that were like this (ethereal gesture), what's called the “realm of the spirit,” are becoming concrete, material.

And when there's just a movement of ill will (people who are dissatisfied with what the Divine has done for them, even about a very small matter), when they are in front of me, they don't even have to say anything: suddenly all my nerves start hurting horribly – then I know. It's happened three times already.³ And they are people who apparently have goodwill. Yet it's enough: the presence of that force, even in just one detail, is enough for all the nerves to start hurting.

T.F. has prepared a big scenario for a film (it's remarkable). She has read me half of it (really remarkable), and she's just read a description of the vital world, of life.... Mon petit, it's certainly beyond the human consciousness: it's the consciousness of a vital being that can write that – it gave me a fever. It's gone; now it's completely gone, but it gave me a fever. And I didn't feel any discomfort, nothing: I just admired, saying to myself, “Goodness, it takes some skill to describe that” (it was unbelievably accurate, you understand, certainly beyond the human). And she herself told me, “Oh, but I gave you a fever!” And its true, I had a fever. Now it's gone, its all over.

Things are like that, you understand, they become... real.

*
*   *

(About a disciple)

... You are too good for him.

(Mother smiles)

For me, to every sin mercy.

But is there mercy for total egoism?

Yes, oh, yes! That's just it!...

¹ written by Mother in English.

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² See Agenda X of 26 April 1969.

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³ See Agenda X of 12 November and 24 December 1969. We may be touching here the central physical difficulty which was to become Mother's agony. It was not the “problem of the transformation,” but the problem of the disciples.

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