The Mother
Agenda
Volume 12
February 10, 1971
Good morning, Mother.
Well, what's new?...
How are you, Mother?
It's not coming very fast.... It's all right, the leg is almost better – almost, there's still a tiny little something in the foot, but it's nothing at all. But the eyesight is not too clear. It's better – everything is improving, but very, very slowly. And willpower seems to have nothing to do with it. It's something entirely beyond my control – what is it exactly? I don't know.
It must depend on the rest of the world, perhaps?
Yes, probably.... Yes, it's not a personal question because.... The personal will is there, but it's kept like this (motionless gesture in the background). It's at peace. Well....
Suddenly I am able to straighten up (you know, I was afraid I would be bent over forever), suddenly I can straighten up. Then at another time I look at those cards to exercise my eyes;1 and suddenly, one morning, it's very clear, I can see very clearly – as if to prove that the possibility is there. But the time has not come yet. So I am waiting.
The only thing is the 21st.... I said (maybe too soon, I don't know) that I would go out on the balcony; therefore I MUST go out on the balcony. Right now it looks... problematical, but.... I can't take one step without being supported.
We'll see. There's still a week.
It's entirely beyond my will – it's not that the will isn't there, but... (immutable gesture). So I have to say, “Well, what will be will be.”
May I hear another chapter now?
Yes, Mother.
(After the reading of chapter 13, “And After?”)
I find what you wrote truly miraculous, you know.
(long contemplation)
1 An oculist's chart with letters of various sizes. Mother does regular reading exercises.