become an idiot. I didn't know anything. And it's the physical mind that developed little by little, little by little...”The Mother
Agenda
Volume 13
February 2, 1972
(Mother listens to the English translation of “Notes on the Way” of December 18, 1971, which causes a good deal of confusion between R., the American translator, and Nolini: “a muddle.” Mother stops in particular at the following sentence.)
“...Everything was simply taken away from me – the mind is completely gone. If you like, in appearance, I had
become an idiot. I didn't know anything. And it's the physical mind that developed little by little, little by little...”
(Mother comments in English)
One shouldn't repeat “little by little.” It is not little by little. It was rapid because it took place suddenly. It came like this – one night I understood.... It came... truly it was miraculous (but I didn't want to say anything); suddenly the vision of the world and then the vision I had... were removed and this [new] knowledge was simply put like that (Mother gestures as if she had been suddenly crowned by or immersed into that knowledge). But that I did not want to say.
(Mother speaks French again)
One shouldn't repeat “little by little.” The correct phrase is: little by little, through successive revelations. That's how it was.1
(Mother stops at another sentence)
“This [radical change] could be accomplished because I was very conscious of my psychic... it remained and enabled me to deal with people, with no difference-thanks to that psychic presence....”
It is the psychic that deals with people. It was ALWAYS the psychic that dealt with people, and it continues. This [radical change] didn't make any difference.
(then another sentence)
“I understand and hear people only when they think clearly what they say. And I see only what expresses the inner life.”
Well, some people come to see me, they come in: I see only a silhouette. Then suddenly it becomes clear-cut. Then off it goes again – DEPENDING ON THEIR THOUGHT. It's extremely interesting!
(again this passage)
“Surrender does not imply trust; trust is something else, it is a kind of knowledge – an unshakable knowledge, which nothing can disturb – that WE change into difficulties, suffering, misery what is... perfect peace in the divine Consciousness.”
This is extremely important. An extremely important discovery. It was fundamental. It is WE, the distortion within OUR consciousness that changes into pain what in the divine Consciousness is perfect peace, and even joy – an immutable joy, you know. It's fantastic. And I've experienced this CONCRETELY. But it's difficult to put into words.
*
* *
(After Nolini and R. leave)
It's becoming difficult because I am talking about new things, and words are old, old, old.... The experience is very clear, very conscious, but when you want to describe it, it comes out as nonsense.
No, something filters through at any rate. Even if words are inadequate, one can still capture something.
(Laughing) Yes, provided you want it!
Well, yes, obviously.
No, but I feel that the body itself must learn to express itself. It doesn't know how to express itself yet.
And also... (Mother gasps for breath) speaking is difficult.
I think it will gradually evolve its own language, Mother.
Oh, yes, it must!
1 Owing to the confusion in Mother's room, it seems there is also confusion between the suddenness with which Mother's mind was removed and the slow emergence of the new mind “through successive revelations.”