The Mother

Agenda

Volume 13

July 12, 1972

I am always late!... I think we should fix ten-thirty [instead of ten o'clock].

Well, if you say ten-thirty, it'll mean eleven! [laughter]

Yes, yes! (Mother gives Satprem a little tap on the shoulder.)

What do you say?

Well, I say that Mother doesn't talk much!

(silence)

Before, you... you talked more readily.

Yes.

(long silence)

I have a feeling I am becoming another person.

No, not just that: I am entering ANOTHER world, another way of being... which might be called a dangerous way of being (in terms of the ordinary consciousness). As if....

Dangerous, but wonderful – how to express it?

First, the [body's] subconscient is in the process of changing, and that is long, arduous and painful... but marvelous as well. The feeling of... (gesture as if standing on a ridge).

More and more, the body's sensation is that faith alone can save -knowledge is not yet possible, so only faith can save.

But “faith can save” still sounds like an old manner of speaking.... How to phrase it?... The feeling that the relation between what we call “life” and what we call “death” is becoming more and more different – yes, different (Mother nods her head), completely different.

Not that death disappears, mind you (death as we see it, as we know it and in relation to life as we know it): that's not it, not it at all. BOTH are changing... into something we don't yet know, which seems at once extremely dangerous and absolutely marvelous. Dangerous: the least mistake has catastrophic consequences. And marvelous.

It is the consciousness, the true consciousness of immortality – not “immortality” as we understand it, something else. Something else.

Our natural tendency is to want certain things to be true (those we deem favorable) and other things to disappear – but that's not it! It isn't like that. EVERYTHING is different.

Different.

From time to time, for a moment (a brief moment): a marvel. But the very next minute: the feeling of... a dangerous unknown. There you are. That's how I spend my time.

(silence)

The subconscient is full of, oh, full of fears, of anxieties, of.... That place is disgusting (gesture rising from below).

(silence)

The body doesn't even have faith in its own faith! That's right: it feels its faith isn't the real thing, it doesn't have faith in its own faith.

Life... life used to be simpler with that faith that predominated over all else, but now... (gesture of a complete collapse).

(Mother plunges in)