Nirodbaran

Correspondence with Sri Aurobindo

The Complete Set

Dilip told us today that you were trying to bring down the personality of Durga on the puja day.

There was no trying – it came down.

When I came for pranam, your appearance made me feel that you were Durga herself though I have not the faintest idea of what the Goddess looks like. Later I told Nishikanta my impression. He said he too had a similar feeling. I don't know whether such a feeling arose out of the association with the puja on that day, or quite independently of it.

All that is the silliness of the physical mind which thinks itself very clever in explaining away the inner feeling or perception.

One can't take such feelings very seriously (perhaps you will rebuke me for it) because they are so vague, abstract and momentary! It is difficult to distinguish the border line between imagination, intuition and feelings unless they are substantiated by something like a concrete vision.

What else do you expect the first touches to be?

To give you one instance: I heard as if the Goddess Bhagawati¹ were telling me, “I am coming”, and many other things which I don't remember now.

These things are at least a proof that the inner mind and vital are trying to open to supraphysical things. But if you belittle it at once the moment it starts how can it ever develop?

Now, in what light should I take it? If I take it as a reflected response of my own nature's restlessness, shall I be wrong?

Yes, quite wrong.

You have shown two ways of sadhana: one of effort, another of reliance on the Divine with constant call. But aren't they really the same? How do they differ? Constant call and aspiration means the constant acceptance of Truth and rejection of falsehood, which means a constant effort at rejection and acceptance since our mind being what it is, will always run after physical things and its pleasure. Is there any less effort in this method?

Much less. The other is a constant effort to get things down and pull down what one wants. Acceptance and rejection are quite a different thing.

26.10.1934

¹ One of the names of Durga.

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