Nirodbaran

Correspondence with Sri Aurobindo

The Complete Set

Today I examined patient N; there is a definite lesion in the left lung. It may be either pleurisy with effusion or T.B. T.B. cannot be excluded altogether considering his advanced age, long-lasting oral sepsis and susceptibility to cold.

I don't know whether there is T.B. – but the mental formation of T.B. on N was formed long ago and when you have a mental formation like that, then physical results may come at any opportunity, – pleurisy, a strong chill even etc. Because of this mental formation, the Mother cannot see definitely.

The doubt can only be cleared by a blood exam and conclusively by exploration...

But is pleurisy undiscoverable except by exploration? Blood exam is so often doubtful.

... I feel a great responsibility. It is bad luck for me to have to tackle such a difficult case... My prestige is also involved.

It is a test case, I suppose. But why so strong on prestige? I should have thought everybody knows that doctors have to be guessing all the time and that cure is a matter of hit or miss. If you hit often, you are a clever doctor – or if you kill people brilliantly, then also. It reduces itself to that.

But may I ask you why you are wasting such a lot of Force when a word could do the job? Why not cut short our labour and the patients' discomfort by saying tathāstu? Is it as easily done as it is said? I/(???) working “a damned lot” reduces the temperature only by one degree and that too for 12 hours or less, what am I to think? I would surely like to see Thy Grace operate on this poor man – certainly this is a case for the descent of Grace!

I did not expect you to take my tathāstu with such grim seriousness. Speaking semi-seriously, I am not here to do miracles to order, but to try to get in a new consciousness somewhere in the world – which is itself however to attempt a miracle. If physical miracles happen to tumble in in the process, well and good, but you can't present your medical pistol in my face and call on me to stand and deliver.

As for the Force, application of my force, short of the supramental, means always a struggle of forces and the success depends on (1) the strength and persistency of the force put out, (2) the receptivity of the subject, (3) the sanction of the Unmentionable – I beg your pardon, I meant the Unnameable, Ineffable and Unknowable. N's physical consciousness is rather obstinate, as you have noticed, and therefore not too receptive. It may feel the Mother inside it, but to obey her will or force is less habitual for it.

N's departure to see his mother, my attachment for my mother, G's activities in Gujerat and B's departure in spite of his profound bhakti, set my brain whirling.

Why on earth should such natural and inevitable things make your brain whirl?

Mother, R says that you visit the Dispensary on the first of every month. Are you then coming tomorrow?

R is romancing or perhaps he is dreaming dreams in preparation of the millennium.

By the way, one point. You seem to want the fever down, R wrote that the fever must be there (but not rise too high) because it is a necessary reaction of the body against the poison. Now, look here! which doctor am I to follow?

31.01.1935