Nirodbaran

Correspondence with Sri Aurobindo

The Complete Set

Lack of interest and energy, disinclination to go to the hospital – this is my condition for the last few days. Curiously enough, whenever I take a cup of tea in the morning, these symptoms disappear. The whole system seems to buck up and I can do my work with full vigour. But if one has to rely on tea for such results!

Sympathise with you. There was a time when I was like that. Teaified cells – instead of deified.

But what's the reason? Vital resistance, physical inertia or fatigue or what?

Gandhian non-cooperating passive resistance of the vital disgusted to have to do the same thing regularly? Objection to rules – what? Discipline it.

The whole thing came to a climax. I wanted to go out for a walk by way of diversion but J said that the Mother takes away something from the vital.

Why on earth should she?

Everybody else seems to be working with so much interest, and look fit me. What a curious mixture am I!

Too many ingredients in too small and unstable proportions?

In any case, break this old being, Sir, and let something emerge, whatever it be!

All right; let's have a try. Hammer, hammer, hammer! Only the being in question is a little – shall we say, solid?

25.04.1935