Nirodbaran

Correspondence with Sri Aurobindo

The Complete Set

Why am I feeling so disturbed? Life seems to be a washout. Have I fallen again into the blessed lower vital dungeon?

I suppose so. It is the vital that refuses to leave its movements and yet at the same [time] can't enjoy them (i.e. why life seems to be a washout).

I am more and more relapsing into a gloom and glum.

Tamas of a disappointed but still recalcitrant vital.

Do you intend to give me a push or a kick this time at the Darshan, or just a touch as usual?

I think for that your vital has to make up your mind whether it is going to leave its old moorings or not. Otherwise a kick will only give it gloom and glum and a push make it tumble down and say “O Lord! what a washout is life!”

21.07.1935