Sri Aurobindo
The Mother

to Prithwi Singh

Correspondence (1933-1967)

17 August 1934

Prithwi Singh — Sri Aurobindo

Mother,

I shall not write again about the diamond as you wish it so. It is premature now but some months later after my return I shall again write to you about it.

While I am here I should like to do some sort of work. I can take up the work of the classification of books in the library according to the method of Dr. Dewey whose book I have brought with me. A sort of arrangement in cards is also necessary. If you approve I can explain the method to Nolini Babu¹ and if he thinks it is not too complicated for the average user I can take up the work quite gladly. In any case I shall try faithfully to perform any work that you may be pleased to give me.

Yes. Arrange with Nolini.

Regarding my movements here, I find it extremely difficult, Mother, to still my mind. Try as much as I may the thoughts come rushing one upon the other and as soon as they are detected in their endless and often silly formations they stop for a moment only to return with the same obstinacy. It is all the more embarrassing as I am now endeavouring to meditate for half an hour or forty-five minutes at a stretch. I try to fix my thought upon an imaginary circle of light (or sometimes “Om”) at the will-centre but after a time the controlling movement is somehow gone and thoughts chase each other endlessly, sweeping the point of light into nothingness.

These are usually the reactions in the early stages, if one tries by force to concentrate the mind.

The mantram (Radhāswāmi) that was taught to me I often repeat, sometimes simply I cry “Mā, Mā.” Only at rare moments when my mind is a little stilled I hear various sounds (curiously always in the right ear and sometimes even unexpectedly). Yesterday however during meditation-time I distinctly heard the sound of “Om” for a very brief space of time though.

But these things are transitory, they come and go at their will, whereas I want to establish a deep silence so that I may receive the Mother's transforming power and love in the right way and more fully. Therefore I humbly beseech you, Mother, to teach me the art of meditation, how to guard against the overwhelming rush of thoughts and the right attitude that will help.

It is not possible to establish a deep silence all at once unless you can separate yourself from the thoughts, feel them as coming from outside and reject them before they enter. But everybody cannot do that at once.

How keenly I feel my weaknesses gathering strength to baffle me in my efforts! Your help alone can save me and lift me from this deep gloom and sense of utter worthlessness.

With deep devotion

Prithwisingh

P.S. I may say that at the pranam-time when I receive your blessings a sense of sweet overflowing peace and deep gratitude fills my being — this experience I had not had last time. This makes me all the more sorrowful at my incapacity to tune myself into a perfect poise even for a short time.

It may be better to concentrate in the heart rather than in the mind, offer yourself from there and call the Mother into the heart leaving the thoughts to fall silent of themselves. Otherwise with the present method you have simply to persevere till the present brief and imperfect stillings of the mind become longer and deeper.

Sri Aurobindo
17 August 1934

¹ Nolini Kanta Gupta.

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