Sri Aurobindo
Writings in Bengali
Translated into English
A Letter to Mrinalini
23 Scotts Lane, Calcutta
17th February 19071
Dear Mrinalini,
I have not written to you for a long time.
If you do not, out of your own goodness, pardon me for this eternal fault of mine, then I am helpless.
What is in the marrow cannot be got rid of in a day.
I may have to spend this whole life trying to correct this fault.
I was to come on the eighth of January, but I could not come; this did not happen of my own accord.
I had to go where the Lord led me.
This time I did not go for my own work, I had gone for His work.
The state of my mind has at present undergone a change; about that I would not reveal in this letter.
Come here, then I will tell you what I have to say.
The only thing that can be stated for the moment is that henceforward I am no longer subject to my own will: I must go like a puppet wherever the Divine takes me; I must do like a puppet whatever He makes me do.
At present you will find it hard to grasp the meaning of these words.
But it is necessary to tell you about it lest my activities cause you regret and sorrow.
You may think that I am neglecting you and doing my work.
But do not think so.
So far I have been guilty of many wrongs against you and it is but natural that you were discontented on that account; but henceforth I have no freedom of my own, you will have to understand that all that I do depends not on my own will but is done according to the command of the Divine.
When you come here, you will realise the significance of my words.
I hope the Lord will show you the light of His infinite Grace which He has shown me, but that depends on His will.
If you want to be the co-partner of my dharma, then you must try most intensely so that He may point out to you the path of His Grace by the sheer force of your concentrated will.
Do not allow any one to see this letter for what I have written is extremely secret.
I have not spoken about it to any one but you.
That is forbidden.
This much for today.
Your husband