Previously I used to tear them to pieces and throw them into the wastepaper basket, then I realized they collected all those torn pieces and went through a tremendous toil to put them back together!...The Mother
Agenda
Volume 8
July 8, 1967
(Mother starts sorting innumerable scraps of notes and stops at this one:)
“For the Government of India, one thing is to be known: does it want to live for the Future or does it stick desperately to the past?”
(June 20, 1967)
It was when that man came here on behalf of the government of India; he saw everything and was to make a report. Before leaving (I saw him: he is a nice man), he said, “I wonder what words I should use to convince them?” Then I told him, “Well, there's only one question: do they want to work with the future or do they want to... stick, to remain stuck to the past?” And he took it with him! (Mother laughs) He's going to say that right in Parliament!
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Another note:
“As the origin of these sayings is not mental, I cannot give to them any mental explanation.”
Yes, this, too... They ask me questions (it's not me who answers: it's Sri Aurobindo), and then they ask me (K. especially, he specializes in it), “In your message, you said such and such a thing, does it mean this or does it mean that?” Oh!...
So this time, I answered.
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Mother goes on sorting her notes
Previously I used to tear them to pieces and throw them into the wastepaper basket, then I realized they collected all those torn pieces and went through a tremendous toil to put them back together!...
When I really want to get rid of something, I burn it myself.... I've burned lots of things.
You know that I burned all those notebooks.... For – how many years? – at least four or five years, every day I used to write those Prayers and Meditations (I had several notebooks of them, big like this). Then, when Sri Aurobindo told me to make a book out of them (naturally, as it was written every day, there were some repetitions), I made my choice; I selected and extracted all those he wanted (I also kept a few, which I extracted and distributed), and as for the rest... It was a long, long time ago, I was still living over there.1 The last times I wrote, it was after my return from Japan, that is, in 1920. In 1920 I still wrote a little, then stopped. Then Sri Aurobindo chanced on it, and he told me it had to be published. I said all right, made a selection, and what to do with the rest? So I burned it.
Oh, what didn't I hear!...
I said, “Well, that's what you should do with your past: burn it with the fire of aspiration.” Otherwise, you always remain hitched and fastened, a slave everywhere, with millstones around your neck.
But I tell you, later I realized that if I didn't burn my papers myself, the others kept the pieces!... There were things on which I had written “To be destroyed if I were to leave this body,” “Destroy without opening.” Then I realized I couldn't trust anyone! So I destroyed them myself.
Even when I write accounts, they ask me for the pieces of paper! I have given bundles of them to Champaklal. He keeps them. He has kept... Sri Aurobindo used to burn coils2 in his room, to repel mosquitoes, and he's kept all the ash of those coils! He has such a big pot full of all the ash! Burnt matchsticks too! He's kept and sorted everything – organized, labeled and all!... Very well.
So I know from experience what they do... (laughing) I take my precautions!
1 François Martin Street.
2 Coils of incense that burn slowly while releasing a very fragrant smoke.