Nirodbaran

Correspondence with Sri Aurobindo

Second Series

1. Spirituality

Meditation

IV. The Inner Being and the Surface Consciousness

During the evening meditation I was wondering why I was not able to find the rasa of this life. Many have found it in poetry, some in painting, others in physical work. When I was thinking of praying to you to give me some joy and interest in the world I had an experience: I felt that my mind was divided into two parts – the inner being was silent, not disturbed by anything, while the surface mind was thinking at random. As soon as the outer thoughts cropped up it tried to see if all this was a forced condition of mind, – but no, the silence was really there and intact. This continued as long as the meditation lasted. I would like to have your corroboration on the matter. I wonder how these experiences suddenly drop in.

The consciousness from which these experiences come is always there pressing to bring them in. The reason why they don't come in freely or stay is the activity of the mind and vital always rushing about thinking this, wanting that, trying to perform mountaineering feats on all the hillocks of the lower nature instead of nourishing a strong and simple aspiration and opening to the higher consciousness that it may come in and do its own work. Rasa of poetry, painting or physical work is not the thing to go after. What gives the interest in Yoga is the rasa of the Divine and of the divine consciousness which means the rasa of Peace, of Silence, of inner Light and Bliss, of growing inner Knowledge, of increasing inner Power, of the Divine Love, of all the infinite fields of experience that open to one with the opening of the inner consciousness. The true rasa of poetry, painting or any other activity is only found when these things are part of the working of the Divine Force in you, and you feel it is that and it exists in the joy of that working.

This condition you had of the inner being and its silence separated from the surface consciousness and its little restless workings is the first liberation, the liberation of Purusha from Prakriti, and it is a fundamental experience. The day when you can keep it, you can know that the Yogic consciousness has been founded in you. This time it has increased in intensity, but it must also increase in duration.

These things do not “drop” – what you have felt was there in you all the time, but you did not feel it because you were living on the surface altogether, and the surface is all crowd and clamour. But in all men there is this silent Purusha, base of the true mental being, the true vital being, the true physical being. It was by your prayer and aspiration that the thing came, to show you in what direction you must travel in order to have the true rasa of things, for it is only when one is liberated that one can get the real rasa. For after this liberation come others and among them the liberation and Ananda in action as well as in the static inner silence.

I would like to know if experiences of this kind effect a lasting result in the consciousness. – Do they ever settle down and become a constant realisation, or do they just occur off and on?

They come first in this isolated way, afterwards more frequently and for longer periods, then they settle. In some they settle at once, but that is rare. In some they persist recurring till they are settled, that is less rare. In others the occurrence is at first at long intervals and waits for the consciousness to be ready.

It seems I had the same experience again. In the meditation I felt that something descended, and the body became silent; it seemed to me that it was something apart from me. Along with this the inner silence began. I tried to test and verify it by thinking of external things, which however could not disturb teh silence.

The real self (Atman or Purusha) is not the body – the body is something separate, a part of the being, but a part of Prakriti, not the true self or Purusha.

It is best to remain silent. To test the experience may lead to a mental activity which will break it. That it did not [do] so in this case, shows that the power of silence that came down must have been very strong and imperative.

You said before that this condition was of the inner being and its silence, the separation of Purusha from Prakriti.

Yes, but it seems also to be the beginning of liberation from identification with the body consciousness. That easily comes with the Purusha consciousness in the inner being.

Is this inner being the same as the psychic being?

No, not necessarily – the inner being is composed of the inner mental, the inner vital, the inner physical. The psychic is the inmost supporting all the others. Usually it is in the inner mental that this separation first happens and it is the inner mental Purusha who remains silent, observing the Prakriti as separate from himself. But it may also be the inner vital Purusha or inner physical or else without location simply the whole Purusha consciousness separate from the whole Prakriti. Sometimes it is felt above the head, but then it is usually spoken of as the Atman and the realisation is that of the silent Self.